Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The fat lady's song

I just came across a blog that brought me back to reality, That's the Way Life is is a testimony of just how short and unpredictable life can be.

The question is: why am I staying here and making myself unhappy? Yes I want to save some money and to maintain an income in harsh financial times, but what if, just what if I am wasting what could be the best years in my life?

Money may or may not come, but time, once dispensed, cannot be recalled.

I am not happy here. Have never been. Never will be.

I have however grown to find a sort of numb middle ground of bland existence where everything is boiled and all shades grey. I have been dancing with depression in a place that isolates beyond the healthy dose for a creative.

There are places to see, taste buds to be brought to life, smells to be defined. There is so much wonder waiting to be discovered by these eyes that have only roamed in my imagination.

There is nothing for me here. Nothing but a stifling of my spirit.

I cannot live in this world without trusting even one person. I am not cut out to be the mistrusted outsider. I am not cut out to be hated. Tolerated, at least, but certainly not hated.

I feel like my life is on hold. Like I have pressed the pause button for too long, and the player has just timed out and switched off.


I need to leave.

I am going to resign.

The fat lady has sung.


Anonymous said...

Do Not Worry
Matthew 6:25 - 34

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?

28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Hebrews 11:1 (King James Version)
1Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

(New International Version)
1Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Love you - Live your life!

Azikiwe said...

K...do what you need to do....jus' do HAPPY...

Sheer Almshouse said...

Iagree.My sanity is invaluable. Still working on the plan.

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