"I feel like dancing. Dance 'cause we are free..."

Taken the day after our wedding, one year and one month ago today. Photo credits: Easy Skanking Chef

The show must go on

Last night I looked at some pictures of me taken over the weekend right after watching The Biggest Loser. Talk about motivation!!!!! I did a resistance workout with Beachbody's Chalene Johnson with her Turbo Jam routine. I also got a cheap yoga mat and meditated afterwards. ESC came home and did the 1hr kickboxing routine while I tried to get to sleep to get up early for a free yoga class on the football field in my complex. I woke up tired... saying to ESC "I have a really long journey in front of me... it won't happen overnight." To my surprise, still groggy, he replied "And I will be with you every step of the way." I see that my cousin Celia has also said the same thing... for your support, I give thanks. I don't at all feel sorry for myself... I accept where I am right now and that this whole experience is making me a better person.

We all have our own versions of Waterloo in our lives, and if we are up to it, we face many different Battles of Waterloo during our lifespan. Facing such a battle more than once means that we have managed to survive the previous encounter, which was tough enough to be to Napoleon's undoing.

I am taking baby steps this time. Making small goals. I ate a bowl of ESC's deliciously tasty and healthy chicken soup before heading out to an Easter Brunch with the buffet from hell and it was worth it. I arrived without feeling very hungry and was able to taste the items before putting them on my plate, making certain that I took moderate servings of only those things that were tasty and moderately healthier (you can never be sure in a buffet). I also had only about 1/6 of my regular dessert helping. But by far the best thing ever, is that I was healthy enough to drag ESC into the living room and by example, declare the space the dance floor. We danced up a storm! I didn't even remember my toe injury and I breathed my way through every cigarette craving.

I have also decided to spend MUCH less time online and watching TV. These are really mindless activities that dont stimulate me enough physically and only help to keep my metabolic rate on the slow end.

I have been meditating a lot lately. I have also been visualizing also. Not to mention affirming.

The fat housewife

Being a housewife is making me fat. That is the short answer/excuse (choose yuh pick) to the numbers on the scale and the body measurements taken tonight.

I have put on a LOT of weight since I got here. I here Azikiwe and LA saying (I warned you). On the contrary, my husband is looking more svelte than ever.

He has managed to maintain his weight loss because he eats the high fibre cereal combination in the mornings that IIIII mix for him which gets his day off to a good start and he grazes like a goat during the day. The occasional night fest when he comes home is just that- occasional. Furthermore, and perhaps most crucial, he no longer participates in the binge drinking that chefs are noted for. He has a wife to come home to.

But me? I sleep until noon and get up and eat whenever hunger really bites and ususally not that wonderful high fibre cereal mix. There isn't much that is exciting about my day and so I make up for it with pleasuring my taste buds. But every road and rope have end, no? Well mines sho do!

I called ESC tonight and he asked me how I was.
"I'm depressed," I whined.
"I know," he replied calmly
"How did you know?"
"Because you are my wife and I know you. And I observe you a lot more than you know. Something was bothering you."
"Yes, I'm fat."
"No you are not." (He knows who he is sleeping beside tonight).
"Yes. I am bigger than ever in my entire life!"
"Really? Well, I will fix my bike and we can exercise together on weekends."
"But that's not enough!"
"Well, when I leave in the mornings, you can get up too and go for a power walk."
"I just need to do my workout everyday."
"Well you get up with me in the mornings and do your routine while I get ready."

And you know what is the sweetest thing? Someone commented on my pasta photo that I better watch my waistline with too much pasta. You know what he replied? "I am watching it and loving it."

So there! I am blessed to have a man who loves me just as I am, but who is also willing to support me when I want to make improvements.

I think I was smart to marry a man who would at least hold me accountable to being fit, even though numbers on the scale don't bother him unless they pass 3-0-0. That was his all time high. I don't think he knows what 300lbs look like on a 5'6" woman, but I do appreciate his generosity.

Anyway, I am no longer depressed. I wasn't depressed really, I just used the word out of term. I was having "a case of the mean reds." I am over it now. You know me, I like to get rid of bad energy... that stuff causes cancer.

Yes I have about 40 lbs of fat to lose this year. That is less than 1lb per week. It's doable. It is achievable. Note that I said fat... I may not end up being 40lbs lighter. I don't want to be skinny. I just want a lot less fat and much more muscle, especially since I have lost a lot of muscle mass since I slacked off when I came off TV. This time at least I have a sexy workout partner at least twice a week and a motivator for the remaining 7 days.

I am tired of yo-yoing. I want to lost the excess and maintain a lifetime fluctuation of no more that + or - 5lbs.

You know what I had for dinner? You guessed it. The high fibre/high protein cereal mix.

ESC is home. Sleeping. Pour soul. Tired.

I have had 24 hrs of sheer domestic bliss. I wanted the place to be a haven or rest for us both this weekend. Gave him a candle lit peppermint bath this morning when he came home from work at 2:30. Pour soul was so exhausted that he fell asleep in the bath.

He cooked me breakfast this morning, and it was so much that we are having it for dinner.

We go on the photo trek tomorrow to Sharjah. Ooops forgot about that when I put my wet locks on rollers. Hope my hair dries by morning. Yes it's 14 hrs away before we leave home but locks can take very long to dry... esp now when the temp is very cool.

We have a movie date tomorrow with a chef colleague of his who he looks up to.

I am going to bake a box cake tomorrow and douse it with wine. Rum would have been preferred but I am afraid we have no such thing in our pantry. There is a bottle of flat wine that we have been nursing that hopefully should do the trick. I promise to try it on one one slice first instead of spoiling the whole thing.

I am shooting again.

Need to go through my backlog of photos and pick some gallery type photos for exhibition and printing. In addition to doing holiday portraits, that may be the quickest way to earn from my significant investment. The truth about photography is that the real artistic element is not grasped until printed and hung. It has to be in a frame to be regarded as collectible art. Otherwise, it's just another beautiful shot. I think my next assignments will be park and gallery hunting. The parks for reconnaissance for location shoots and galleries to see who may be interested in displaying my art. What have I got to lose? Not a darn thing!

Prunes and raisins were not created equal

So last night while chatting to Imelda on Skype, my doorbell rings at 11:30. I was not expecting anyone. ESC was not due home for another hour and I had just almost perfected my all natural moisturizing hair spray and I went to town. My hair was wrapped in a plastic bag covered with my silk scarf and I was parading in undergarments. I looked through the peephole. It was my dearly beloved husband!

Home early- a rare surprise. Slow day. Wanting to spend some QT with his wife. He went to the shower and Imelda and I chatted on. We haven't been having our regular conversations and were getting up to speed. GrannyPeg heard the news of Dubai's debt payment default and was worried about her granddaughter over here in foreign Arabia. The news had reached Jamaica.

The conversation ended prematurely- a regular thing with internet chats over my limited broadband speed. I took the cheapest package. Frugal is my middle name. It rhymes with Practical.

So ESC comes out of his shower, intending to fix his flat bicycle tyre and seduce his wife to an early sign off.

Then the prunes started talking.

I was not comfortable with the way my body was feeling and so I picked up a few prunes on my supermarket run last night. They were really tasty. I had them all. Eleven prunes. I dont eat prunes normally because I never really cared for them. But I wanted to feel like my old efficient self again and they really did taste good this time. Maybe its because they didn't have to travel so far and so long to get to me in the west.. they were much tastier here, having come from the region.

Then the prunes started to sing.

ESC fixed his bike, warmed up some oxtail, unpacked the groceries and waited for me to join him.

The prunes started to dance. One piece of drum knocking and chanting and carrying on.

There endeth the reading of this scripture. ESC was forced to go to bed without me while I was locked up in the bathroom reading "The Poisonwood Bible" as my body found renewed efficiency.

Happy Birthday ESC

I am an unconventional woman, so I do unconventional things. For his BDay, I bought ESC a URL. He was deeply moved. It was a testimony to the fact that I believe in him and his career aspirations. It couldn't have come at a better time he said... he faced some drama at work yesterday and it was good to come home to such love and support.

I dolled up too... I thought... "What would Marilyn do?"

Remember that racy outfit I bought as a STEAL on sale? Yes hon, that same hot number.

Heels and fishnets to boot. And the shoes. God bless my sprained toe. And the right makeup and fragrance.

He cooked me the best salmon I have ever had (crispy on the outside and melting on the inside).

I needed a strong shot to come out of the bathroom in that getup so he poured me one.

I came out and sang a la marilyn...

We ate.

I put on Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass' "Love Potion #9 and did a dance... and removed my robe.

We hugged. And kissed.

He did some work at the desk. I helped him (Imelda would be happy to hear that her dawta suggesting soup recipe for upso stayso restaurant).

He showered.

We hugged. We prayed. He said "Thank You a million times.

We went to sleep.


PS>>>>>ESC is a bigger man than me. As tempted as he was (and beliiiiiiiiiiiiieve me he was), he was very faithful to the chastity. But there was actual something sweet (though mildly frustrating about getting so dolled up and then retreating to bed with just tight hugs)... If ever I doubted just how spiritual and respectful this man was, I can't now. Today is the actual BDay but since he comes in after midnight, we had to celibrate it at the beginning, rather than at the end.

My Personal Chef

The morning after the night before

Thank you all for all the love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't ever do mush here but thought I would post that pic for you ;)

After a late morning, vigorous frolicking, shopping, chatting, planning and a 2hour grocery spree... I am exhausted. It's past midnight and Mr. Mention has gone biking to return to cook. We are having a friend over. This is a city that truly never sleeps :)

I realise that housework has got to be done everyday. Don't ask me how come I have just made that discovery at 29 years of age. Living with no man for all but one of my adult years meant that domestic duties would be done when the mood hit or when company was expected. Sharing a small space with someone means that there are things that must be done everyday. He helps, but due to his really awful hours, I try to leave very little up to him. But there are things that are assigned to him, off course. This is the 21st century, not the middle ages. I do not do floors and I do not do toilets. I will sweep floors and disinfect toilets but bowl cleaning is not my cup of tea. He is also the designated "ironer." He takes out the trash but that is just an unspoken agreement. I do everything else and then on top of that, look pretty.

But I do fancy taking care of him. And I am trying to balance taking care of me in the process. The funny thing is that where I slack off on the latter, he intervenes. Kari is not drinking enough water in the desert- Kari's water is always poured. Kari wont make salads but needs to eat greens until a juicer can be bought- Kari's salads are made. Kari didn't feel like cooking dinner only for herself so hasn't eaten- Kari's dinner is cooked at 1am. Don't worry, I usually don't get into bed before 4.

We went grocery shopping together this evening. I must admit that it is one of the simple pleasures of finally being with ESC long term. He knows what fish is fresh and to grab the fruits from the back... that frees me up to do other things. Plus, there is nothing nicer than having a manly man to carry the bags. Of course I offer to take the lighter ones.

We wanted to go to a movie but decided on two bottles of wine instead. We are down to a very strict budget. We went heavy on the grocery shopping because it will be the last big shopping for the next two months. The only things we will get from here on are fruits and veggies and the odd ingredient for a particular recipe. We do have a wedding-though modest-to save for.

There are so many costs associated with my arrival from everything like internet and new mobile service to getting cotton wool and alcohol. Don't men need alcohol and cotton wool? In addition to that, there is the fact that we needed to pay hefty fees for the wedding ceremony and the registration of the marriage. We also have to budget for the filing of my spousal visa thereafter. So yes, money tight- very. But our cupboards and hearts are full.

I got new running shoes tonight and proper walking slippers. Imelda, I settled for a muted bronzish metallic Birkenstock. I walk to the mall a lot and I needed sensible sandals instead of pretty(which is all I previously owned). I also got new cushioned running shoes because I need to get back to working out and they were RIDICULOUSLY cheap. Roughly USD$35. But that is the only steal I have found because things are REALLY expensive here. Azikiwe, I finally got New Balance... and you were right.. all of these years. Can't believe it took me 10 years to even try one on! No they are not as cute as my previous fave Adidas Adiprene but they are absolutely fantastic for comfort! Am I learning a lesson here?

Anyway.. I might as well be comfortable for now because you damn sure I wearing heels on my wedding day. Speaking of which... let me jump off and start my event spreadsheet. It may be small but the event planner in me just cant leave it up to chance.

A wedding for Sheer Almshouse

It's official. The date is set. Marriage counselling attended. Church booked. Tears shed. October 14, 2009. Dubai.

Yes, ESC and I are really getting married.

Landed, fetted and pampered

I know I have been MIA. I have been really missing the action we've had. But I have been topping up with ESC... we've had a LOT of catching up to do.

He found me a friend... so I have a girlie girl to hang with...

I was sick over the weekend and he nursed me back to health... ginger tea, chopped garlic, chicken soup, papaya and freshly squeezed carrot juice. The soup and tea were his idea and Mother Hen told me to use the garlic for the stomach cramping.

He comes home late at night... close to 2am most times... and if I am hungry, he will cook me something. Yes he is spoiling me, why shouldn't he?

I came from the airport to scented tea candles and fresh flowers in the apartment... really a lovely way to be welcomed.

I try to get up with him in the mornings to get him breakfast or at least pack it before he leaves and run an aromatherapy bath for him at night.

He calls me several times a day to check up on me even though I know he is busy.

He took me to a romantic dinner in his restaurant and I had the BEST restaurant experience of my life. I can see why they were voted Best Steakhouse in Dubai. We ordered 2 courses and got about 7. I am really feeling the benefits of being with a chef. His team went all out to give me a culinary experience worthy of an epicurean goddess. And yes, Wagyu beef does really melt in your mouth.

He has lost a lot of weight and is looking fabulous. Can you believe dude goes for a bike ride even at the hour he comes in? No complaints here. I am feeling the benefits. Was rather cute when we were at dinner and a British expat literally gawked at how gorgeous he was as she sat in disbelief because she couldn't believe that he was the chef behind the fab food she was having. Of course I blushed too. Gawk yah gal... he's mine. Plus I don't want anything that no one else wants. He was looking dandy in a shirt I bought him... and he cleaned up so much that his waiting staff didn't recognize him until he walked into the kitchen at the end of our meal.

We came home and played music for each other and danced and danced and danced.

So the consensus is that yes, it was damn well worth waiting for. Here's to a lifetime of such sheer bliss. We broke but we happy.

Day of Departure

I slept for all of 90mins last night. I am all organised and ready to go.

Ticket printed: check
Visa printed: check
Travel ins printed: check
Bags packed: check
Room tidied: check
Book packed: check
iPod charged: check
I just need to remember to pack my makeup once I put it on.

So this is it, after 9 long months, I see ESC in about 20 hrs.

So long from New York. Dubai here I come!

Here's to the end of nakedness in the streets (humbug).

I miss my peeps already.

The preparation of the bride

Nothing could stop me, not even fatigue. I had only come in at 6 in the morning after hours of shooting a major reggae concert in Queens (Irie Jamboree) and then going to a Guyanese Soca fete in Brooklyn to ensure the greasing up of waistline that had become stiff due to lack of use. I was too tired to go on Eastern Parkway to shoot the traditional West Indian Labour Day carnival parade, but nothing, I repeat nothing could stop me from going to grab a few things on Labour Day sale that would have otherwise been out of my reach.

I knew what I needed to get. After not seeing your man for nine months, what would you get? Damn right!

First stop: Fredericks of Hollywood. Second: Victoria's Secret. Getting Negliglee for $9 and a full buster/garter set for under $30 sounds as sweet a treat to me as Imelda's famous fruit cake.

I have always admired the bustier sets but thought them a lil to raunchy for my taste, but how could I turn them down at that price? These things sell for much more on a regular day. Since I was already in the territory, I picked up fishnet stockings with the seam in the back...hey... when monkey waan wear trousers, himhave to know where to put him tail. To top it off, I discovered a closing sale at Aldo's in Manhattan to complete the get up. Put it this way, when my friend Johnathan Ambrose saw them in my shopping bag he declares "Whoa..those are some serious CFM shoes!" I smiled. That's the point isn't it?

I got sweet smelling things for cheap at Bath and Body down to a nice pillow mist.

I am taking my small dutchpot (dutch oven) and a bag of Jamaican seasoning, down to pimento from my daddy's farm. Yes, I covering all bases.

This reminds me of the naughty boys in my high school class who used to go around proclaiming the 3 or 4 Fs of getting girls:

1. Find them
2. Friend them
3. F them

and for the disgusting ones:
4. Forget them

There is certainly no forgetting on ESC's part with all the things I have planned. Point is, as much as there are still LOTS of uncertainties and challenges ahead of us, we might as spend the meantime doing meaningful things.

So I will modify that old F thing from the perspective of a woman in a relationship:

1. Feed him
2. F him
3. Fall into blissful slumber

Mehod: Do steps 1-3. Bathe and repeat everyday and twice on Saturdays.


Until then, I am going to get back to packing. I leave NY tomorrow. Next stop, Dubai.

Pressure ease up

ESC and I had a nice long talk last night. Oh the difference one conversation makes. Yes him call me for what is likely to be our last conversation until we meet.

Helped to put things into perspective.

Or maybe it was just the reality of sex on the horizon. I can honestly understand why doctors in the middle ages treated "hysteria" with orgasms. Nothing more unstable and miserable than a woman who aint getting none. Well... OK I may be speaking for myself :)

Apparently my visa has come through. Haven't seen it yet though. I suppose I will see it on Sunday when he goes back to work (and has email access).

I need to get myself in the framework of a Fri and Sat weekend and Sunday being the beginning of the work week.

BTW, in a totally unrelated topic, I am officially, painfully lactose intolerant. Gotta run!