A sneak peek into my soul

I think I have the soul and spirit of a child-one who embraces life with innocence and acceptance. At least, for the past few months at least, I have been seeing increasing glimpses into my soul that was and now remarkably-is.

I know it sounds like mumbo jumbo.. me talking about being reclusive and then as carefree and spirited as an eager child the next day. I guess the easiest thing is to chalk it up to me having a personality with many facets (or simply embodying multiple personalities). Either way, I still get to experience moments of sheer and utter bliss of being free to be silly and stupid and be the first to laugh at me.

Life is heavy enough as it is. It's time to play.

I think, bit by bit, I am slowly becoming...free.

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3

Time

Kahlil Gibran


You would measure time the measureless and the immeasurable.
You would adjust your conduct and even direct the course of your spirit according to hours and seasons.
Of time you would make a stream upon whose bank you would sit and watch its flowing.

Yet the timeless in you is aware of life's timelessness,
And knows that yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream.
And that that which sings and contemplates in you is still dwelling within the bounds of that first moment which scattered the stars into space.
Who among you does not feel that his power to love is boundless?
And yet who does not feel that very love, though boundless, encompassed within the centre of his being, and moving not from love thought to love thought, nor from love deeds to other love deeds?
And is not time even as love is, undivided and spaceless?

But if in your thought you must measure time into seasons, let each season encircle all the other seasons,
And let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing.



...

Of self-sufficiency and solitude

Every woman needs to not only discover self-pleasure but also willingly partake in and out of a relationship. Full stop, comma, comma, dash dash.

After spending sometime tidying house, I took a long hot shower and reclined in my all too comfy bed with a wine glass filled with coke, sipping in candlelight. There is beauty in silence and pleasure in aloneness.

There is certainly a time for everything under the sun, not quite ecclesiatical is this revelation but still poignant:

There is a time for company and a time for solitude
A time for sharing and a time for witholding
A time to laugh until you cry and a time to cry until you laugh
A time to hurt and a time to heal
A time to suffer and a time to prosper
A time for coupling and a time for self-pleasure.

Let's toast to solitude and self pleasure.

Selah.

Patience

Maybe its time for me to learn a new virtue- patience.

Maybe its time for me to worry less about things I cannot change.

I thought I had mastered my tongue and my reactions to certain things but my actions have defied me.

Will I be able to forgive myself? I have to because the one person definitely have to live with is me.

I need to stop fretting so much and let things be. What is to be will be and what is for me will not go by me.

Everything else I leave to God and time.




...

Serendipity

Its been a while since my last post. In fact, it's my first for the month of march after a most prolific february. I guess I never had much to say. Till now.

I wanted to post today so that I could set this date as a record of activities leading up to this deliberately vague entry.

Time has a way of working things out, even the unexpected. Sometimes the unexpected brings waves of euphoria, sometimes confusion, somtimes conundrum, sometimes all, even so in all of this, it brings a fresh new way of looking on things that may have always been right before you.

I cherish this day, and will forever, remembering the sheer bliss of simply knowing and feeling. Even if the view gets distorted by category 5 hurricanes, I will keep this moment etched in my heart as a moment of discovery and uncluttered enlightenment.

I am not caught up with what is to come because tomorrow has enough problems of its own. I am living in the moment, enjoying the first fruit of a tree I never thought would give forth fruit.

It is true that good things happen when you least expect them but it is also true that amazing things happen when you are simply ready to embrace.

Nothing before its time.

March 11, 2007 -Ritz Carlton, Rose Hall, Jamaica





...