A strong mind starts with a fit body

I saw that sign in the gym last night and was so struck by it that I had to take a pic and share with my fitness buddy. Yes, for the first time ever, I have one of those, and I think that is just one of the reasons why this time will be different.

So I am down 18.7lbs altogether. Not much since my 15lb loss recorded in my previous post, but I was lifting heavier last month as part of an extreme 3 month fitness routine that promotes muscle gain and fat loss. The second phase, which requires heavy lifting for 6-8 reps is an intense muscle and strength building phase. Many people actually report weight gain during this phase so I should be happy that I lost a total of 6.6lbs during those 30days. I had to rest my hands for a while because of the carpal tunnel, so I did cardio, kickboxing and increased daily activity and delayed Phase 3 until yesterday. Yesterday I worked out for 2 hours, which felt really good. I am rebuilding my stamina. I remember when I used to have 2hr sessions every gym day.

So now Phase 3 is the Lean Phase, where I will be increasing reps to 10-12 and doing combo free weight exercises which promote engaging the core for stability. This is the phase where people see their best results during the 90-day routine.

After completing this CLX routine, I am thinking of doing 30 days of Slim in 6 and doing another rond of CLX. I have heard that many people get maximum results when they break with a lower intensity programme like Si6 and then resume a secound round of CLX.

Well enough of the workout geek talk and back to the heart stuff.

The darn scale
I have been struggling mentally with not seeing the scale budge over the last 2-3 weeks. It is not easy to be working hard and eating on plan and then the scale suddenly stops moving. I know technically why (I just explained it above) but that still doest seem to stop the feelings of frustration.

Mirrors and photos
I am also having a very tough time with other people's photos of me. You know the kind that immortalize you in your very worst light? Well imagine how much worse when they are added to shared via social networking. I have been depressed 2 times over the past 2-3 weeks with a friend's snapshot that includes me. I seem to look much worse sitting down than standing up. This friend is very proud of my efforts and extremely supportive and I know she thinks I have come a far way and wants to celebrate, but all I see when I view those pics is just how far I still have to go. ESC has been trying to coach me to appreciate how far I have come and focus on the victory instead of being overwhelmed by the distance ahead. Easier said than done. I think this is why many obese people just never complete their weight loss journey- it just seems like an uphill battle that has no end in sight.

I also despise the mirrors at the gym and in elevators. I must have been blind while I was getting fat but suddenly my vision is clearer and all I can see are the faults. I honestly think I am struggling with body dysmorphia.

I am much bigger than I have ever been in my life and I am just not comfortable with being mediocre anymore where my health and fitness are concerned. I am still on a mission to lose another 55lbs and am dead set on getting there.

I realize that I have a much smaller image of myself mentally (since I was never fat until 5 years ago) and I have a hard time accepting what really is.

Hormonal drama
I also have to be kind to myself and cut myself some slack for all that I went through over the past six months. My pregnancy and miscarriage threw my hormones even further out of whack and I am still trying to re-balance. I have also read where lots of women put on a lot of weight in a very short time after a miscarriage. I do not have to wonder why.

Growth
I am resetting a lot of habits and lifetstyle activities that will help me to maintain my losses for a lifetime. I can now say "no" to sweets. Also very surprising, I can have a tiny amount of something. I have truly come a far way.

Pressing on
Even though I have not seen the scale move, I am still moving. My body may be a little confused and think "she is going to stop soon as usual" but not so! I am more determined than ever to bring my body into balance! I just feel like my entire life depends on it and I will not stop until I accomplish all my goals!

I am off to work out with ESC now!

15 lbs lighter

That's right. I have lost 15lbs over the past 6 weeks. That is an average of 2.5lbs per week which is steady and very encouraging. At this rate, my body is likely to lose consistently and I am on track to goal weight by December.

I am tracking my weightloss in 5lb intervals with rewards for each milestone reached. My last reward was a zumba class (which has hurt up my knee- why wont I learn with my dance injuries?) The next one is 2lbs away.

I have been busy with my weekly column as well as a new social media project with a big middle eastern retailer.

That's it for now... all the best to you and yours.

Whether my scale bears witness or not...

1. I am getting smaller.

2. I am chiseling away the fat, armed with the sturdy tools of the Atkins Nutritional Approach.

3. I am feeling in control of my diet. I am eating in a manner I believe in and my body says yes. I have not been perfect. No one is. But I have more control and power than ever before.

4. Saying "No!" makes me feel sexy.

5. I am looking good- and I will say so myself thank you very much! My skin is smiling back at me with the suppleness of youth and not the eczema plagued rawness that it became over the past 2 years.

6. I got me a Buttt lift- all natural. The squats and lunges have injected youthful exuberance back into my tush and thighs and it only makes me want to walk and shake it some more!

7. I can go clothes shopping without dread, anxiety and a 5-day post 'partum' shopping depression. Yes, shopping was akin to giving labour without epidural without the warm fuzziness and oxytocin of a baby at the end of it. No longer do I have to "walk on by" nice things and sales. I can find clothes that fit AND flatter even though I am still sizes away from my goal weight.

8. I come home and model my finds like I used to before I got secretly dismayed of how my body was morphing beyond recognition. It is back to proportions that I can identify with.

9. I am buying clothes for 'right now' and for 'around the corner'. I believe that we SHOULD endeavor to look our best at any size and that means right now. I think for my birthday, I am going to buy myself a size 6 pants. That is THREE sizes down but that is my promise to myself that I WILL reach there within the year. I always wanted to be in my best shape at 30 and I haven't been a size 6 since in 6 years.

10. You see all this self-indulgence? I am WORTH it! It was the lack of indulgence that got me here. Putting me on the back-burner. NO MORE! I am worth sitting down and thinking about and re-affirming and loving. I am! I am! I am! I will renew mind mind, re-affirm and free my spirit and love my body into its best health.

NO I am NOT pregnant, I am just FAT, now leave me alone!!!

There is a difference when my Ma and those women in my family henkering for a baby to coddle ask.. "You pregnant?" after hearing that I have been vomiting or something. But.. under the following circumstances, who wouldn't be just a tad upset? This has been the subject a lot lately and I swear I am burying this issue once and for all. Read on.

I just need to vent....
Last night I met a sister of my hubby's friend for the first time and she asked me if I was pregnant. Let me tell you ladies something. This is THE LAST TIME someone is going to ask me that question unless I am really pregnant!!! It totally upset me and not because I was packing some weight but because I have been working hard for months and had already sen improvements. Even my own hubby the day before offered " Your body is really re-shaping... i can see the changes in your thighs, arms, stomach and back." Now one day later this woman WHOM I HAVE NEVER MET meets me and unwittingly attempts to shatter my progress?1?!!?? NO sah! A no so it go! I know that she wasn't necessarily being mean- we are newlyweds - but no woman over 25, much less over 30 should EVER be so insensitive to another woman. If I am pregnant, she willl find out, no?

Of course ESC was upset that the comment was made... he has publicly defended me in the past. He is still trying to convince me that i really dont look pregnant.

Furthermore, I don't want to be put in the defensive over my own body. I am working out my issues on my own thank you. Sometimes we women are just too nuff... (inquisitive). Why do we need to know if if that is a weave or her own hair, eyelashes or a real Prada bag? When can "how are you?" or a mere "You look happy" suffice.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY?
We are our sister's keeper. Men look about each other. We on the other hand, even though sometimes unwittingly can be our worst enemies. My granny always said "If you have nothing good to say, say nothing." It is true! Smile and say "It's good to see you!" I used to hear visitors come by the house over and over and the first thing she greeted them with is " It is lovely to see you. You look WELL!" I think she was on to something.

"Wellness" is not just about fat or skinny or rich or poor or whatever. It goes waaaaay beyond the surface... like my granny did when she met somebody... she saw all the way to their souls. No doubt, people have always left her presence encouraged, even if she eventually challenges them, she does so with an art that builds and not destroys. We are active partcipants in each other's victories and we are quick to lift each other up even when we ourselves could use a prop. We are our sisters' keepers. Now, let's take that love and energy to the streets.

The fat housewife

Being a housewife is making me fat. That is the short answer/excuse (choose yuh pick) to the numbers on the scale and the body measurements taken tonight.

I have put on a LOT of weight since I got here. I here Azikiwe and LA saying (I warned you). On the contrary, my husband is looking more svelte than ever.

He has managed to maintain his weight loss because he eats the high fibre cereal combination in the mornings that IIIII mix for him which gets his day off to a good start and he grazes like a goat during the day. The occasional night fest when he comes home is just that- occasional. Furthermore, and perhaps most crucial, he no longer participates in the binge drinking that chefs are noted for. He has a wife to come home to.

But me? I sleep until noon and get up and eat whenever hunger really bites and ususally not that wonderful high fibre cereal mix. There isn't much that is exciting about my day and so I make up for it with pleasuring my taste buds. But every road and rope have end, no? Well mines sho do!

I called ESC tonight and he asked me how I was.
"I'm depressed," I whined.
"I know," he replied calmly
"How did you know?"
"Because you are my wife and I know you. And I observe you a lot more than you know. Something was bothering you."
"Yes, I'm fat."
"No you are not." (He knows who he is sleeping beside tonight).
"Yes. I am bigger than ever in my entire life!"
"Really? Well, I will fix my bike and we can exercise together on weekends."
"But that's not enough!"
"Well, when I leave in the mornings, you can get up too and go for a power walk."
"I just need to do my workout everyday."
"Well you get up with me in the mornings and do your routine while I get ready."

And you know what is the sweetest thing? Someone commented on my pasta photo that I better watch my waistline with too much pasta. You know what he replied? "I am watching it and loving it."

So there! I am blessed to have a man who loves me just as I am, but who is also willing to support me when I want to make improvements.

I think I was smart to marry a man who would at least hold me accountable to being fit, even though numbers on the scale don't bother him unless they pass 3-0-0. That was his all time high. I don't think he knows what 300lbs look like on a 5'6" woman, but I do appreciate his generosity.

Anyway, I am no longer depressed. I wasn't depressed really, I just used the word out of term. I was having "a case of the mean reds." I am over it now. You know me, I like to get rid of bad energy... that stuff causes cancer.

Yes I have about 40 lbs of fat to lose this year. That is less than 1lb per week. It's doable. It is achievable. Note that I said fat... I may not end up being 40lbs lighter. I don't want to be skinny. I just want a lot less fat and much more muscle, especially since I have lost a lot of muscle mass since I slacked off when I came off TV. This time at least I have a sexy workout partner at least twice a week and a motivator for the remaining 7 days.

I am tired of yo-yoing. I want to lost the excess and maintain a lifetime fluctuation of no more that + or - 5lbs.

You know what I had for dinner? You guessed it. The high fibre/high protein cereal mix.

All into context

I am returning to work today after my two day sanity break. I called in to my assistant and got upset just discussing the inefficiencies on the job.

I am smoking a cigarette and i have to admit that it just tastes nasty. I guess its high time I quit - for good.

My plumbing is out because the dudes who were putting in new kitchen cabinetry broke a pipe. Have left countless messages for my landlord. I have no water. Was actually contemplating going to work without a wash but maybe that's not such a great way to start my day.

So I have to relax and remember to BREATHE. I should have spent 5 mins doing sun salutations instead of smoking that damn cigarette. Tired of smelling and feeling like an ashtray. Have to learn to handle stress better than to resort to cancer sticks. Plus I realise that there is a direct correlation with smoking and gaining weight... I must be the only person who this happens to.

I am looking at starting a new excercise routine in March. I think I will resume dance classes sometime in Feb.

Inspite of all that comes my way today, I will try to stay floating on my back, so that even if I get thrown into the deep ocean, I can still keep my head above water. No sense in tiring myself trying to swim 5000 miles to shore. Help must and will come.

All things work together for good.



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