Saturday, June 05, 2010

NO I am NOT pregnant, I am just FAT, now leave me alone!!!

There is a difference when my Ma and those women in my family henkering for a baby to coddle ask.. "You pregnant?" after hearing that I have been vomiting or something. But.. under the following circumstances, who wouldn't be just a tad upset? This has been the subject a lot lately and I swear I am burying this issue once and for all. Read on.

I just need to vent....
Last night I met a sister of my hubby's friend for the first time and she asked me if I was pregnant. Let me tell you ladies something. This is THE LAST TIME someone is going to ask me that question unless I am really pregnant!!! It totally upset me and not because I was packing some weight but because I have been working hard for months and had already sen improvements. Even my own hubby the day before offered " Your body is really re-shaping... i can see the changes in your thighs, arms, stomach and back." Now one day later this woman WHOM I HAVE NEVER MET meets me and unwittingly attempts to shatter my progress?1?!!?? NO sah! A no so it go! I know that she wasn't necessarily being mean- we are newlyweds - but no woman over 25, much less over 30 should EVER be so insensitive to another woman. If I am pregnant, she willl find out, no?

Of course ESC was upset that the comment was made... he has publicly defended me in the past. He is still trying to convince me that i really dont look pregnant.

Furthermore, I don't want to be put in the defensive over my own body. I am working out my issues on my own thank you. Sometimes we women are just too nuff... (inquisitive). Why do we need to know if if that is a weave or her own hair, eyelashes or a real Prada bag? When can "how are you?" or a mere "You look happy" suffice.

We are our sister's keeper. Men look about each other. We on the other hand, even though sometimes unwittingly can be our worst enemies. My granny always said "If you have nothing good to say, say nothing." It is true! Smile and say "It's good to see you!" I used to hear visitors come by the house over and over and the first thing she greeted them with is " It is lovely to see you. You look WELL!" I think she was on to something.

"Wellness" is not just about fat or skinny or rich or poor or whatever. It goes waaaaay beyond the surface... like my granny did when she met somebody... she saw all the way to their souls. No doubt, people have always left her presence encouraged, even if she eventually challenges them, she does so with an art that builds and not destroys. We are active partcipants in each other's victories and we are quick to lift each other up even when we ourselves could use a prop. We are our sisters' keepers. Now, let's take that love and energy to the streets.


Anonymous said...

Hush mi luv. Some people are insensitive yes but some are also clueless.

You are working on attaining your weight goal. That's all that matters.


Anonymous said...

Nuff and hout-a-hada!! All some time when mi know people fi years, mi no ask dem dat deh question. Mi will know in 9 months or less.

Karen (my sister-in-law) was pregnant, and I figured she was, but said zilch, nada, nutten so til she and her husband made the announcement.

Nex time ask dem an 'interesting ques' back. You'll know what to say ;-)

Sheer Almshouse said...


I got enough love in my heart to say " She no know no better."

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