Back in the saddle

Yesterday I drove my car to work on four brand new tires. That's close to $500 bucks. And I drive a SMALL car with SMALL wheels. So you see when I mean when I say things are expensive here?

I also drove to the car was and mi amigo de espanish dominicano whose English is as bad as my Spanish hooked me up with a two hour car washing. Most of the paint is gone.

Also, Easy Skanking Chef is sending me to NYC to cool down for a few weeks. Eighteen more people were sent home from his company. Three from his department. Again, he dodged a bullet. This is the fourth tranche. Anxieties are high but I am happy that we have been blessed so. Two salaries better than one.

So I am going to Manhattan, NYC next week and Maryland, DC two weeks after. Boss has signed the leave request and Uncle D has made the reservations and will complete payment tonight.

So I am set. I dont have winter clothes so it will be jeans, leggings and lots of layers for me.

Luckily Harlem Mama is going to be able to take me to all the places where I can get warm stuff cheap because I dont even have shoes without holes.

And one more thing...

I think...

I am going to get my nose pierced.

Sinking in

I woke up to an overcast sky, with water-filled clouds just waiting to be pricked. So I decided not to ride my bicycle to work. So I am home. I have SMSed the man in charge and told him that I am working remotely. Which I am. I had already set up my work email so I could access from many different locations especially since most networks go down here pretty regularly.

I will however have to ride down to the MIS department which is much closer to home to send out some public notices.

Bedtime and mornings are not good for me these days. I mean I was never a morning person but for the past few mornings, I have awaken in a state of depression. It comes right at me long before I can consciously fight it off, and I am left in a muddle for the significant part of my lighted day. It's just hard to wrap my head around the possibility that someone/people could hate me so much and could come so close to me and I didn't even know it.

I have spoken with the police. Again, no leads. They say "to the best of [their] knowledge" they have made contact with the neighbours. The neighbours saw nothing. I told them that under those situations, I felt vulnerable and extremely exposed, especially since I had not done anything to anyone to warrant such a vile act of hatred to be rendered upon my property. I went as far as confessing that I have not borrowed or stolen anybody's husband/ boyfriend, or any man for that matter and that I live a rather reclusive lifestyle since my partner is not in the country.

Officer understood and says that he and others have been stepping up patrols in the area. Last night I heard a vehicle at 4 am but I was too tired to get up to look who was driving on my road. BTW, I live on a cul-de-sac so I cannot imagine it being hard for anyone to notice something strange in the middle of the night.

I have been talking to the insurance company too. They just need the police statement and the pictures. The former will take up to the end of the week. Don't ask me why. I already have the photos at hand. There are talks of deductibles, yadda, yadda, yadda, and the damage may be below the threshold. And so... I may have to foot this one out of pocket.

My Accountable Friend who has moved back home (and who should be credited for encouraging me to insure this car comprehensively) advises that I should not sell the car until I am ready to leave. That way, I will not confine myself to depending on others for trips to the supermarket and mobility during the rain. I am contemplating that option.

The landlord says she has ordered motion sensor lights. When the car is movable, I will have to get it compounded to remove the paint. Thank heavens it was water-based. I will also park it inside the yard and get chains and locks for the three gates. It means that anybody who wants to come in will have to jump the fence. It's low, but should at least be a deterrent. The addition of motion sensor lights will make it more secure.

I could also get a highly sensitive motion sensor alarm for the car. My friend, Splaagy Specialist recommends one of those portable flashlight alarms to keep in the house. These come at a premium ("un-budgeted") cost to me, especially since even basic things are really expensive here.

I honestly do not feel like seeing anybody for the remainder of the week. I wish I could get the week on some compassionate leave or something. I just need time to collect myself properly. I am not altogether ready to face a public whose rumour mill will be tied up wondering whose husband I must be screwing.

And I do not want rides from people either, so I prefer to either ride my bicycle, or not go anywhere at all.

For the love of photography

I have been finding distraction in photography- mostly other people's phots and tutorials for the camera that I will be purchasing in 2 1/2 weeks. Two weeks and three days to be exact.

I am thrilled about my choice in camera body and pro lens. This is a huge investment and having a good full frame body and pro lenses will give me years of photographic bliss.

I am re-thinking whether I want to take them here now...especially since the malicious destruction of my property seems to be so easy here.

But I am getting them if is the last thing I do.

I am re-learning and advancing, making preparations to shooting my own gear. There is nothing like your own because you get to understand what it can and cannot do and get to know your equipment like the back of your hand which puts you in a position to get the hard to get shots. As Carl Dawson used to caution me, "You only get one shot." You can only be able to fulfil that mantra by knowing your gear and of course understanding the most important subject in photography-light.

I am sure I am boring you half to death.

But this is all that's in my head for the past few months really.

And this whole bad experience with the car makes me even more adamant that now is the time. If I don't make this investment and take the plunge now, I may never get another opportunity to do so.

I am really not interested in completing my thesis. Does not at all appeal to me. Somehow I feel like I have already belaboured that point.

Anyway, right now I am just waiting for the day when I can click "Checkout" on my pre-prepared B& H Photovideo cart.

Until then, I watch and wait to see how the investigation develops.

NO one is going to break my stride

Listen, this thing may have unsettled me but it will not break me. I am bigger than this and the sum total of my purpose on this earth is greater than any force that is trying to diminish it.

I will clean the car, claim the insurance and sell it.

I will walk and ride my bicycle. It may take me two hours to reach to and from work but I will be better for it. I may even get an extra lens from the proceeds. Whoever is trying to break me, may unsettle me but cannot break a spirit that is not centred on the frivolous or surface.

I have done no evil to anyone, and this is not my karma, I will not embrace it, it will boomerang to the source from whence it came because a curse without a cause cannot alight. I only pray for mercy when they face their own judgement.

I will sleep tonight, because my peace is above and beyond anything earthly.

I rest in the assurance that no weapon formed against me shall prosper.

This song resonates in my head:

Nobody's gonna break my stride
Nobody's gonna hold me down, oh no
I've got to keep on moving

My car has been vandalized

I am dumbfounded. Speechless.

Paint thrown all over and three tires slashed.

The place is small. Hopefully somebody talks.