Old dog learns new tricks

I have to get very grounded because my life is about to change again in a couple of months and I have to be certain that my lifestyle remains consistent. My good fitness and diet habits WERE usually the first to go when things changed dramatically (and being adventurous, I have had LOTS of change). NOT this time. NOT ever again.

Eating well and keeping my body moving has made me more alert mentally and more in-tune spiritually. I had to work hard to reach to a place of acceptance and sheer joy going from being a single and fabulous executive to a married stay at home wife in another hemisphere. It wasn't easy but I did it- by the grace of God. His strength was made perfect in my weakness.

No I have not worked out 6days a week but I have still been more consistent over a longer period than I ever have.

My metabolism is not what it used to be so it takes me longer and more intensity to get where I want to go, but I am fine with that as long as I know I will eventually get there. Slow and steady wins the race. This is not a sprint, it's a marathon and you cannot start a marathon the same way you would a sprint. I have been sprinting to lose weight and get back into shape for all my adult life. Quick fixes don't work for me. I burn out. I get bored. Furthermore, it just doesn't seem as if I lose weight on exercise. I build muscle, but I don't lose fat. I exercise because I want muscle (build and maintain) and my mind, body and spirit need movement to be in balance. My name means rhythm. There is never rhythm without movement.

Sometimes I just want to move, sometimes my bod wants to rest, sometimes I am just lazy. I just no longer have the "must be fit by Tuesday" approach to my WOL. I now believe that for me, diet is 90% of the game. Why? Because I have never really lost more than 10lbs by exercising even though I wanted to lose much more at times. When I was a fit 135, instead of losing or gaining, I gained muscle and lost inches. I was smaller but the same weight. That is usually what happens. I think everytime I have lost weight on an exercise programme since, it has been water weight (usually in the first two weeks of the programme). Yes I was eating loads of healthy foods. I still have quinoa, couscous and millet in my cupboards but they did nothing for me. The truth is, except for when I have been on Atkins, I had never REALLY had a diet that works for me.

I was able to lose and maintain weightloss on Atkins but never did it right. I used it twice as quick fixes but never moved through the phases. Now I am in Phase 2 (On-going weight loss OWL) because I need to give my metabolism a chance to heal before m body starts to let go of anymore weight. I am still trying to get to the 135lb goal I had when I started Beachbody in 2006. NO, I have not been consistent working out and my diet waned during those times but even when I did what I was told "Low fat, complex carbs, high fibre", Nada!

So less than one month before my thirtieth birthday, I am happy that I have finally found a lifestyle that works for me. I am a straight up low-carb girl of the Atkins Nutritional Approach. I am a straight up Beachbody girl because it is this forum that has kept me moving.

Personal Therapy

I have changed so much since I have come here that sometimes I don't recognize who I have become. But change is a part of life and at least it means that I am human and am capable of personal growth.

I can't say I believe that all the changes I have made have been positive. But slowly, I am peeling away the layers and facing my demons.

Nobody has more power over my life than me, so I am trying to walk in enlightened awareness.

I recognise that I need to meditate, pray and enjoy my hobbies, which include photography and meeting and spending time with people. I have managed to become very undone in a situation that would undo almost any sane person, but still, I have to maintain my health and still manage to walk away from this better than I came in. That is the beauty of life- the potential to be totally burnt out and still rise like the phoenix from the ashes.

The introvert vs the extrovert

The older I get, the more introverted I seem to become. Suddenly, I am back to being the only child and playing on my own. Only difference is that this time, I quite like it.

It's weird, and if you know me you will go "Huh? YOU- introvert? Impossible!

But it is.

Maybe it's because I have been isolated for 9 months but even so, I still have managed to be sufficiently withdrawn without the attendant depressive issues.

I quite like living in my head. I like doing what I want to do, when I want to do it, simple because I want to- without having to give consideration for the fellow man. You can only do that when you are without the company of the fellow man. And I have always enjoyed my own company.

It could very well be that this is just me for such a time as this. And that I will get out there eventually but I have been out there and what's waiting is not something I need to be happy on a day-to-day basis.

So maybe it's a good thing that I am with the quintessential extrovert. The one with many friends and a flair for being with them. Yes I love to travel...but mostly to observe and maybe to partake, but still observing through participation. I love the outdoors. I love sports...but more in the stands than on TV. Still, all with the common observant denominator. I love to dance and listen to music and when I do that, I am simply lost in my own world, no matter where I find myself doing it.

Or could it be that I just get bored easily? Or maybe that there is just a time for everything under the sun? Or maybe, I am just tapping into the best thing that this remote place offers- me?

I am sure that I will not become anti-social- it's not in my genes, and even if it was, childhood socialization rubbed it out. Plus I am too curious about life and people to be permanently withdrawn.

But right now, it's really nice just to be alone when I want to be alone and step out in those moments when I crave the company of community and being with the fellow man.