Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Letting go and moving on

This is my last night on the Island Behind God's Back. Praise God for journeying mercies.

I have decided to forgo legal intervention and just cut my losses and move on. I have too much good awaiting me to be bogged down with legal drama with a government that is so broke that it cannot make payroll on time. I have also accepted that there was enough good coming out of my time here to balance the axis of evil that I have experienced (Bush will never live that one down).

What's been goood:

1. I have paid off my debts
2. I have managed to be even closer to family because of the distance and my friendships have been tested and proven rock solid.
3. I have written more than ever
4. I have invested thousands (USD) in pro photo gear that will provide an additional income stream as well as artistic release
5. I have left the comfort and safety of home and everything I know and love to live in a VERY remote place that is foreign in every way.
6. I am in a position to re-claim my independent career, not being fixed to any organisation just for the purpose of getting a monthly income to meet the monthly demands of antsy creditors whose business models conflicted with the irregular even if substantial earnings of a small business owner.
7. I have had lots of time to think and reflect and plan my next move
8. I have invested in a long distance relationship that has reaped tremendous rewards, having proven that the foundation is rigid and the love insurmountable.
9. I am going to enjoy 9 full weeks of VACATION mode summer living. Meaning... for the first time since I was 16.
10. I have learned that there are only few things in this life that are worth hauling around with (signaling the end of my pack rat days). Thank heavens that my mother still hordes so she can keep the things that still worth keeping but not worth extra international flight overweight charges.
11. I have decided to quit using smoking as a crutch to manage stress. I am still working on it. I am going on the patch as soon as I land in Jamaica.
12. I have come face to face with the scariest depression of my life and managed to fight it using self-awareness, discipline, diet, exercise, and therapy. I am still not completely well but home will be the best medicine.
13. I have had a man fly all the way here and use up his entire vacation to prove to me that we are right for each other and he is committed to me.
14. I have not bought one single pair of shoes.
15. I have increased my financial wisdom and have improved my fiscal management in leaps and bounds
16. I have proven that I take care of my responsibilities, even when I have left them behind.
17. I have felt what it feels like to earn hard cash as opposed to the Jamaican dollar which has devalued by $20 in the one year I have been here.
18. I have been able to visit family in the US, some of whom I have not seen for up to 20 years.
19. I broke out of my Florida only US policy, and flew to NYC and Atlanta.
20. I am making my first transatlantic trip this year.
21. I got away from all the hangers on who really were just wasting my time.
22. I am giving a single mother her first opportunity to own a car because I am selling mine to her dirt cheap
23. I was able to give another single mother about $700 worth of food, groceries and toiletries.
24. I have learned that I may not necessarily have the best formula for making new friends and will have to revisit how I let people in my inner circle even if I am lonely and starved for friendship.
25. I made one real friend, and others who have given me unexpected blessings.
26. I have learned to lower my expectations of people.
27. I have survived bathing in dirty water for a year, even though my sensitive skin despises me for it.
28. I can appreciate eating raw conch (a big sea snail).
29. I have managed to re-discover healthy eating even under dire circumstances.
30. I have survived.


Azikiwe said...

(31)you remain undefeated...

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