The Hour Before

I sit in anticipation of your arrival...
Nervous knots bump into each other in my stomach
I struggle to breathe calmly in the midst of my asthmatic state
I wonder
What will it be like?
What will it feel like?
Will I run toward you like Deborah Kerr in "An Affair to Remember"
or will I gently smile and say hello
Reserved not only because of my surroundings,
But because my heart, though healed
is not yet free.