Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Sanity Break

I need a timeout from reality to preserve my sanity. I believe I am walking a very thin line and I fear that I may cross over without even knowing it.

This job can turn a sober man into the village drunk.

If I were born into money,I could quit my job today and spend my efforts launching and running my own firm and pursuing my own happiness instead of pining daily in a kind of non-existence, making no contribution to anything, being valued for nothing as I bide my time in search of meaningful work.

Money isnt everything but it sho brings power. With power comes choice and with choice comes destiny.

Sigh... I feel a combination of intensly vicious anger, spiralling depression and silent bewilderment. I feel like I have wasted my year professionally and its time to move on. The only thing is that I cannot seem to find a fucking job and it is getting on my last fucking nerve!

If I could find one good client who is willing to hire my company on retainer, the rest would be history.

I have a dream about opening an office downtown Kingston and up in the hills of St. Andrew, bringing fresh (yet unspilled) blood to the downtown restoration initiative.

I am in the process of bidding for a contract to produce a feature for prime time morning television and I should have a series of training videos to do for a company.

I dont think I can honestly navigate the politics of a 9-5 anymore. I am just not cut out for it. That was the beauty of being a freelancer in media and then an executive in an agency... I got lots of work done without the commonplace workplace drama.

I just need a few consultancy roles. I will file my own income taxes, and provide my own pension and health insurance. Fuck employers. I want clients.


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