"Without hesitation, compromise or second thought"

A LOT has transpired over the last four weeks. So much so that I have neglected to write about it. But having sufficiently mulled it over in my head and discussed it with every close comrade willing to give an ear, I am ready to share.

After 5 1/2 years of being single, dating every kind of man imaginable (except for the ones who are obviously pathetic), and resigning myself to being a spinster, I have finally settled into a relationship. Yes my dears, Sheer Almshouse has got a boyfriend.

He isn't new. He is the same Easy Skanking Chef who I dated previously, who had retracted to go on a spiritual fast to get deeper into himself to make certain he was making the right choices. So it hasn't been smooth sailing, but nothing in life that is worth its measure, comes easily.

Love that comes without some kind of struggle is often taken for granted and abused.

I have known him since I was 15, and we have been friends for 10 years since. The friendship grew from strength to strength and then we crossed the line. He went away to the Middle East and has been working there for 2 1/2 years.

But on this visit, an exclusive vacation in my new small island posting, the stakes were higher than ever before.

We talked, and talked and shared our most intimate fears, hopes, and realities.

And then we admitted to ourselves what we knew secretly all along, we fit.

A very dear gentleman once told me (and several times hence) that he loved me "without hesitation, compromise or second thought." I give him quoting credit, but I also credit him in teaching me what love is really like. He showed me how a man loves a woman if he truly loves a woman.

So now, without, hesitation, compromise or second thought, I know that my man loves me, and so do I.

It's not perfect. We are thousands of miles and 8 hours apart. It takes him 4 planes to get to me. But he came. And even better, he will return.

He is moving here to be with me.

I have been looking for bad things to happen, since so many disappointments have come my way... but I have had to check myself. Every person, no matter what, deserves some good loving in his/her life. What about mine?

No matter what happens, all things work together for good for them who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose.

So in this moment, I give thanks for what is, what was, and what is to come.

My last day - August 8, 2008

Today is my last day of being 27.

On top of the world

You know, when you are meant for someone, and someone is meant for you... it does not necessarily mean that either of you will come in the package that you think. It just means that you will fit in most important places and compromise on others.

I am happy.

I am genuinely happy, and its not just on the surface. I know there is the giddyness of repetitive orgasmic rapture, but it goes much deeper than that. A girl gets used to being supported and treated like the queen she is, when the right man assumes kingship of her domain.

I am scared.

What happens when the vacation is up and work resumes and the four planes that were taken to get here become the four planes that are taken to leave? What happens when there is no one to make me nutmeg pancakes for breakfast or hang menswear on the line?

You know what?

I just realised that I have had the same messy wires for years in every apartment since 2004, and suddenly after the first night of a three week visit, my wires have been fixed.

I also realise that I didnt think twice about leaving him alone in my space. Maybe, just maybe, he is already my space.

Damn! I am really scared!

But I am so damn happy!

He's definitely worth it.

And consider this my public announcement:

He is the one.