Ellipsis

This is one of those times when reality collides with you and you fall... stunned.
I know it needs to be said. I just don't know how.
My stomach is nervous. I have no appetite.
Cigarettes don't do it for me anymore.
I want to cry but I fear I won't be able to stop.
I am alone.
Tick, tock, life goes on - this world- not bothered by such peripheral things.
Yet I am still.
Too heavy to move and my tongue too laden to lighten with speech
Whoever promised words would be enough?
I wish I had a shoulder to lean on. I have but four walls and a bed.
I still can't say it.
I am too afraid.
That is what it is.
Fear.
I am scared shitless.
Lord, if it not be too much, please let this cup pass.