Just a little more (diverse) conversation

I honestly don't know what has happened in the past two years but I find myself pigeon-holed in many conversations these days. It seems like there is a limit to the conversations that I have and it's driving me crazy, Miss Daisy. I am hearing myself having the same conversations with the same people over and over, and quite frankly, I am bored with them. I think that maybe, I am having something of a New Friend Identity Crisis.

With my peeps, I can chat all day (literally) about all sorts of things. We can move from world politics to the anatomy of a good shoe in 60 seconds flat and our conversations are permeated by long comfortable intelligent silences. There is no rush to get off the phone. There is no agenda for calling or meeting. The conversation is both the means and the end.

What would I do for that.

I think I am still dealing with the fallout of not having a very active career to talk about. People meet you here and conversations go like this:

"Oh hi. Are you from Kenya?"
"No, Jamaica."
"So what do you do here.?"

Well, that was a conversation I had at church last week. I just didn't think church was another place that required me to proclaim to the world yet again that I am without a real "job."

Is this how it feels to be married for decades and not have children? It's the same thing when you are fat. People seem to be mean without even intending to be mean to people who may have insecurities about certain things.

"Wow- you have put on weight!" (Hmmm. could that be why my clothes dont fit?)
"Are you pregnant?" ( No, I am just fat but you are ugly and that cannot be fixed without surgery)
"Are you still looking for a man?" (Yes, all the men seem to be gay and taken-including yours)
"Still trying to conceive?" (Yes, but when I think of the goats you have for kids, I wonder why am I still trying)
"Still no job?" (No, but you will be the first to know when I do.)

Let me tell you what it is. I have been blessed with some STELLAR PEOPLE in my life. Family members who are also friends and friends who are family and when you have that kind of a foundation, it's hard to settle for surface relationships. I am not the deepest, brooding yogic guru, nor am I the shallowest, high maintenance gal... I am both- running up and down the continuum as I please.

I know I have to find ways to strike deeper friendships and I know that I too have some blame. Sometimes my expectations are so lowered that people get few chances to strike it rich with me. Having said that though, this is one shallow city! Pity I dont' speak Arabic so I could go out into the dessert and commune with the bedouin.

A new frienie fren fren for Sheer Almshouse!

Remember that lady I told you about yesterday? I think she could be what I have been hoping for!

My age (I usually prefer older friends but hey)... married this year... most time housewife/part time consultant... former career woman who earned the bigger salary...fighting depression about the immense changes...makes her own juices...goes walking in the mornings to lift her spirits...has lots of time... a sense of adventure...first generation caribbean (and from an island that is just friendly generally... and the piece de resistance..... she lives in my neighbourhood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I woke up feeling all sorry for myself this morning and ESC hugged me and kissed me and reassured me of his support and demanded that I take up Frenie Fren Fren's offer to go walking and not head immediately back to bed as I had become custom to do. I grunted, moaned, groaned and prayed she wouldn't call. I turned off my cell phone. He turned it back on. He said he would call her himself if he had to. Oooohh so man sexy... I should have jumped him and made him late for work!

Clearly I am in better spirits now, and that is solely contributed to the fact that we went walking aorund the neighbourhood for all of 90 mins and I even managed to go to a brand new grocer's that she introduced me to and get carrots at a rate of about 1/3 of my usual price. Clearly I got many. I needed to anyway... been having stomach issues that have been disturbing my sleep. And if you know me, you know that when my sleep is disturbed, nothing can be more depressing... Hmmm... I need to stick a pin there to explore at a later date.

Anyway... I am just happy to feel like misself again..

Dubai weather at this time of the year is absolutely fantastic!!!

Purple violets

Today I found a old friend.

Your best friend can be your worst enemy

Who the Cap Fit (Bob Marley)

Man to man is so unjust, children:
Ya don't know who to trust.
Your worst enemy could be your best friend,
And your best friend your worse enemy.

Some will eat and drink with you,
Then behind them su-su 'pon you.
Only your friend know your secrets,
So only he could reveal it.
And who the cap fit, let them wear it!
Who the cap fit, let them wear it!
Said I throw me corn, me no call no fowl;
I saying, "Cook-cook-cook, cluk-cluk-cluk."

Some will hate you, pretend they love you now,
Then behind they try to eliminate you.
But who Jah bless, no one curse;
Thank God, we're past the worse.
Hypocrites and parasites
Will come up and take a bite.
And if your night should turn to day,
A lot of people would run away.
And who the cap fit let them wear it!
Who the (cap fit) let them (wear it)!

I had to post the lyrics to that song. It illustrates so well what I am up against here.

My closest work ally, who I actually called "friend" because I thought we clicked and we bonded over cigarettes and wine in a place where women who smoke and drink are deviants. We are both Leos, and we were good friends. That is, until she turned against me. And bwoy, did she turn against me?!

All of a sudden, Missis had a serious vendetta against me. She even tried to discredit me infront of my boss. On top of it all the malice started and the sour face and the cold shoulder turned into rock solid ice.

That melted a bit and we started speaking with civility, I even ended up lending her money because she always had money issues. Bad idea. Mind you said lady takes home double my salary. But she live big. Very big. It tooke me over a month to get it back, and I had to ask. Add cold shoulder to the mix and minus $10 from the re-payment.

Now it appears to me that something really has been brooding between Neighbour and this said person. I see a note on the ABCs of Friendhip on Missis desk signed by said Neighbour. Story come to bump. News get carry. Mix up and blender. I believe they both deserve each other's friendship. And I wish them all the best. However, it has become extremely obvious that they both really do not care much about me. No biggie.

But it seems that Missis from work is attempting to throw all her heavy weight against me. Today she never even acknowledge me presence. Dont know why she vex though. But is same way so badmind work.

All Ihave to say is..."Who Jah bless, let no man curse." Selah