Landed, fetted and pampered

I know I have been MIA. I have been really missing the action we've had. But I have been topping up with ESC... we've had a LOT of catching up to do.

He found me a friend... so I have a girlie girl to hang with...

I was sick over the weekend and he nursed me back to health... ginger tea, chopped garlic, chicken soup, papaya and freshly squeezed carrot juice. The soup and tea were his idea and Mother Hen told me to use the garlic for the stomach cramping.

He comes home late at night... close to 2am most times... and if I am hungry, he will cook me something. Yes he is spoiling me, why shouldn't he?

I came from the airport to scented tea candles and fresh flowers in the apartment... really a lovely way to be welcomed.

I try to get up with him in the mornings to get him breakfast or at least pack it before he leaves and run an aromatherapy bath for him at night.

He calls me several times a day to check up on me even though I know he is busy.

He took me to a romantic dinner in his restaurant and I had the BEST restaurant experience of my life. I can see why they were voted Best Steakhouse in Dubai. We ordered 2 courses and got about 7. I am really feeling the benefits of being with a chef. His team went all out to give me a culinary experience worthy of an epicurean goddess. And yes, Wagyu beef does really melt in your mouth.

He has lost a lot of weight and is looking fabulous. Can you believe dude goes for a bike ride even at the hour he comes in? No complaints here. I am feeling the benefits. Was rather cute when we were at dinner and a British expat literally gawked at how gorgeous he was as she sat in disbelief because she couldn't believe that he was the chef behind the fab food she was having. Of course I blushed too. Gawk yah gal... he's mine. Plus I don't want anything that no one else wants. He was looking dandy in a shirt I bought him... and he cleaned up so much that his waiting staff didn't recognize him until he walked into the kitchen at the end of our meal.

We came home and played music for each other and danced and danced and danced.

So the consensus is that yes, it was damn well worth waiting for. Here's to a lifetime of such sheer bliss. We broke but we happy.

Day of Departure

I slept for all of 90mins last night. I am all organised and ready to go.

Ticket printed: check
Visa printed: check
Travel ins printed: check
Bags packed: check
Room tidied: check
Book packed: check
iPod charged: check
I just need to remember to pack my makeup once I put it on.

So this is it, after 9 long months, I see ESC in about 20 hrs.

So long from New York. Dubai here I come!

Here's to the end of nakedness in the streets (humbug).

I miss my peeps already.

The preparation of the bride

Nothing could stop me, not even fatigue. I had only come in at 6 in the morning after hours of shooting a major reggae concert in Queens (Irie Jamboree) and then going to a Guyanese Soca fete in Brooklyn to ensure the greasing up of waistline that had become stiff due to lack of use. I was too tired to go on Eastern Parkway to shoot the traditional West Indian Labour Day carnival parade, but nothing, I repeat nothing could stop me from going to grab a few things on Labour Day sale that would have otherwise been out of my reach.

I knew what I needed to get. After not seeing your man for nine months, what would you get? Damn right!

First stop: Fredericks of Hollywood. Second: Victoria's Secret. Getting Negliglee for $9 and a full buster/garter set for under $30 sounds as sweet a treat to me as Imelda's famous fruit cake.

I have always admired the bustier sets but thought them a lil to raunchy for my taste, but how could I turn them down at that price? These things sell for much more on a regular day. Since I was already in the territory, I picked up fishnet stockings with the seam in the back...hey... when monkey waan wear trousers, himhave to know where to put him tail. To top it off, I discovered a closing sale at Aldo's in Manhattan to complete the get up. Put it this way, when my friend Johnathan Ambrose saw them in my shopping bag he declares "Whoa..those are some serious CFM shoes!" I smiled. That's the point isn't it?

I got sweet smelling things for cheap at Bath and Body down to a nice pillow mist.

I am taking my small dutchpot (dutch oven) and a bag of Jamaican seasoning, down to pimento from my daddy's farm. Yes, I covering all bases.

This reminds me of the naughty boys in my high school class who used to go around proclaiming the 3 or 4 Fs of getting girls:

1. Find them
2. Friend them
3. F them

and for the disgusting ones:
4. Forget them

There is certainly no forgetting on ESC's part with all the things I have planned. Point is, as much as there are still LOTS of uncertainties and challenges ahead of us, we might as spend the meantime doing meaningful things.

So I will modify that old F thing from the perspective of a woman in a relationship:

1. Feed him
2. F him
3. Fall into blissful slumber

Mehod: Do steps 1-3. Bathe and repeat everyday and twice on Saturdays.


Until then, I am going to get back to packing. I leave NY tomorrow. Next stop, Dubai.

6 Days for sex!

Oh ye churchy innocents, listen and learn:

Sheer Almshouse: 6 Days for sex!

Denza: That sounds like a best seller :) LOL
rest on the 7th

SA: Hello, that was for God after 6 full days of work.... No sabbath till applicable

Denza: LOL
mind u mek the man erupt like volcano

SA: that is expected
otherwise him have plenty fi explain

Denza: LOL

Everywhere you step, macka juk you

(No matter which direction you turn, there are trees with prickles all about).

I picked a fine time to be out of a regular income... I must be crazy some may have thought. Indeed I was. Just not the way you think.

I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Depression had taken me to places I had never been before and never want to return. This wasn't just about me not being able to handle pressure. I was ill. I was ill because I was overcome with fear due to two personal acts of violence committed against me in a foreign country, in which no one could be identified as friend or defender. I was alone and in fear for my life... and sanity.

So I did what I thought would be the most practical thing... leave. It was a choice between preserving life and sanity or making money. Each was at the expense of the other. They were mutually exclusive.

Having never been rich, it wasn't hard for me to select poverty.

Putting fun and jokes aside, I made contingencies, trying to account for the huge financial fallout. ESC and I also decided that it would be good for me to join him where part he be.

As the date draws near for my transatlantic departure, I seem to be getting more and more nervous. It's a humongous step- all of 13hrs worth- and a whole lot of uncertainties lie in between.

What on earth could I be nervous about? Nothing I haven't already contemplated and tried to make contingencies for, but that never stopped Mr. Murphy.

I am struggling, really struggling to find centre and stay grounded... after all... is my life not ordered by Higher Order? But these damn voices wont stop yapping in my head.

Missing My Man

It has been six months since I saw Easy Skanking Chef. Actually, six months and four days to be specific. How do I feel about that? It's hard. Really hard. Really, really, really hard. But somehow, with the grace of God, we have managed to survive the time and the distance.

I guess, it was not surprising to us that we would find a way- we are the answers to each other's prayers. We are not perfect, we are human, and subject to the trials of humanity which will come, but we are in this together.

Angry mad gyal

I like picking fights. I'm about to pick one now.

I've just made a playlist of all the loud and angry music I have in iTunes. Not in any mood for soft and sweet.

I'm running low on Dunhill Lights. Cigarettes aren't the only things I am running low on.

I am a pratical person. At least so I like to think. That's why I chose a field that was practical by verb and noun. So why have I chosen a relationship that is totally impractical on every level? Yes I kinda like the space, but in moments like this, I don't.

So now I am also a contradiction.

I am being stretched in a way that makes me wonder if I am really up for this...spreading love across the entire distance spanning the Middle East to the Caribbean. Do I have so much in me? Really? Well, it's trailing thin right about now.

I can't even have a face-to-face fight about my frustration. I can't even do it over the phone, because apart from the fact that my phone is dead and buried, it's 7:30 am where Easy Skanking Chef is, and if I know him, he went to bed at 4am and has to get up at 9 for another 16 hour day on his feet. So talking, venting, cussing, fighting, bawling, and kissing and making up are options removed.

All I can do is sit and sulk and write about it.

Sometimes I wish he was much older. Older men have the wisdom of experience to anticipate the onset of drama and have the sense to be around to face the music. No. this one is so damn oblivious. He is in his bed sleeping, dreaming nice dreams about me and him together and happy. Tschuups.

He's always so easy-going, waxing philosophical about the strength of our love whenever I go on one of my tirades. I don't want philosophy, I want vile verbal ejaculate!

I want a fight dammit! Full on roaring confrontation!

This distance sucks big fucking time.

Long distance relationship=purgatory

"Long distance relationship" (LDR) is the politically correct term for purgatory.

This is my definition. My chat. I'm not taking it back

Here's why:

1. You have the man (or woman)...but not really

2. As lovely as long calls are, they usually come with a longer bill. So, they best serve the phone company.

3. They also serve the airlines- whether by frequent flights if the distance is not so long, or by hefty ticket prices if you happen to live four planes away. I do.

4. Telephone calls and short visits cannot make up for actually being together. If not in the same space, at least in the same place.

5. Skype doesn't work in every country (nor other VOIP companies). Like the United Arab Emirates. Revisit #2

6. Believe it or not, you can get used to the distance. Which can make coming together long-term anything but a happy ending

7. Due to #6, you essentially lead separate lives, and join only on limited terms. Essentially, it can be a relationship between two very single people.

8. There is always the possibility, no matter how small, than on one too many cold, lonely nights, after one too many advances of some predator who has no respect for the fact that LDRs are really relationships, things can well...happen.

9. They are not for the faint-hearted, weak minded, jealous types. Neither are they for those without self-restraint.

10. The conversation can be a little repetitive. Outside of being your personal journal, recounting all the happenings in your separate single lives, just how many ways can you say "I miss you?"

11. There is no sex. And cyber sex can never replace the real thing.

12. The lack of casual physical connection and acts of endearment makes people "channel hugs." How do you really send a hug over the phone, chat applet or email?

13. Every visit, though blissful, will come to a very depressive end.


So why do I do it?

Because, purgatory is halfway between heaven and hell. So close to hell that you know the risks, but so damn close to heaven that you continue to pray to the saints to beam you up.

If, and only if the relationship is grounded and centred on seriously common ground and there is a definitive end to the separation in sight, it can work. But only with lots of dirty, hard, grimy work.

Relationships are worse than algebra anyway you take it. If however, you feel like this could be or is "it" then, it is by all means worth the wait.

Furthermore, you get to be single in a relationship! Just be sure to really define what that "single" means for BOTH of you :)