Smoking Baby-This 2yr Old Smokes 40 Cigarettes A Day!

Now you tell me? What are we coming to? What next?

Pain free breath- what happens when you stop smoking

Today is Wednesday, the day before Thursday. Thursday will be two weeks since I decided to stop using cigarettes as a crutch and to quit so I could open up my lungs and really get fit.

Last night ESC and I did 50 mins of kickboxing. I wore weighted gloves weighing 0.5kg (1.1 lbs) each. I could breathe! There was no tightening in my chest, no feeling winded, no lactic acid build up!!! I did however feel tight in my injury free knee so i didn't push it to the max as I could have done (breath and stamina-wise) for the first time in years. It felt good. Really good.

I feel like I have accomplished something exceptional. I guess I am that kind of girl :) Yes it has been a damn struggle but I rose to the challenge and have been facing it head on. These are the moments in movies and plays that makes all of us find hope in our own struggles. It's catharsis in the making; the introduction of the elements of victory over the impossible: "Life, meet Struggle. Struggle, meet Courage. Courage, meet Commitment. Commitment, meet Hope. Get very acquainted."

Smoker in Distress

After two and a half weeks of kotching up out on fire escapes, donning long heavy winter coats over night gowns to grab a cigarette on the street, and sneaking outdoors just in time before the house alarm is turned on, I just want to be free to smoke.

It is 2:30 am, I just finished watching the Sex and the City movie that Young Aunty recorded for me on the dishmajig... and I want an effing cigarette...and there is no way I can sneak outside without tripping off the alarm...or even open the windows without doing the same.

I must admit that some of my best shots came from smoking outdoors (night shots of harlem from the fire escape)... but right now... I just wish I was free to just go outside and light up a fag dammit.

I see why Imelda insists on getting smoking hotel rooms when she travels. I always knew she was smart.

Cycling and cigarettes

I went home yesterday and went straight back out on my bicycle. Yes. I went for a ride. Not far, but over enough slopes to feel thoroughly winded when I returned home.

Maybe it is time to quit smoking. Plus I just realised that when I buy cigarettes here I spend $100 per carton (20 packs). My 3 duty free cartons have now been whittled to 2 single packs. Normally it's $33 duty free in the airport. This does not compute. That's roughly $150-200 per month. Damn- that's a suped-up MacBook Pro in 20 months, or a Nikkor 24-70 lens in 11 months, or a trip to Cuba in 10 or Haiti in three.

Hmmn... just why do I smoke again? It may be worth my while to find another bad habit. One that is FREE!

All into context

I am returning to work today after my two day sanity break. I called in to my assistant and got upset just discussing the inefficiencies on the job.

I am smoking a cigarette and i have to admit that it just tastes nasty. I guess its high time I quit - for good.

My plumbing is out because the dudes who were putting in new kitchen cabinetry broke a pipe. Have left countless messages for my landlord. I have no water. Was actually contemplating going to work without a wash but maybe that's not such a great way to start my day.

So I have to relax and remember to BREATHE. I should have spent 5 mins doing sun salutations instead of smoking that damn cigarette. Tired of smelling and feeling like an ashtray. Have to learn to handle stress better than to resort to cancer sticks. Plus I realise that there is a direct correlation with smoking and gaining weight... I must be the only person who this happens to.

I am looking at starting a new excercise routine in March. I think I will resume dance classes sometime in Feb.

Inspite of all that comes my way today, I will try to stay floating on my back, so that even if I get thrown into the deep ocean, I can still keep my head above water. No sense in tiring myself trying to swim 5000 miles to shore. Help must and will come.

All things work together for good.



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