Thursday, July 31, 2008

Killing Time

I need a bazooka fi blow off time head. Cho man, when you want it run off, it just so damn spiteful and a tek him time like seh him hear death news.


I all pack up mi tings dem pon the desk already!

Mi seh mi ready fi step out and go waving gallery a airport and say" Scatter man.. his dat you wid all dose gole teeths?"

Cho mi writing plenty because it keep me calm.

Mi shoes a bun me bun me look hot no raastaboogie!

I dont know why dem postpone tomorrow from the public holiday cause right ya now, if my nght dont start early, i may never wake up! A likkle joke Imelda, mi plan to goes to di people dem work tomorrow morning- especially since me want to go to big big concert pon di weekend.


Talk up to me cause mi dainty!

Mi get a new hair!

Yes chile strawberry blonde a wha it look like (even doh dat was not the intended colour but we a gwann work wid it).

The natty a grow still... huge spurt again in the last year.

We will see how long I can stand it cause everybody done know by now dat me is one girl who nuh frighten fi tall hair. Dat a fi people who fraid seh it nah go grow back.

Anyway, i rocking some snazzy locks so... me gawn.

Lawks.. why 2:20 don mek haste come man?1/?!

The Hour Before

I sit in anticipation of your arrival...
Nervous knots bump into each other in my stomach
I struggle to breathe calmly in the midst of my asthmatic state
I wonder
What will it be like?
What will it feel like?
Will I run toward you like Deborah Kerr in "An Affair to Remember"
or will I gently smile and say hello
Reserved not only because of my surroundings,
But because my heart, though healed
is not yet free.

Ode to Carl Dawson and Photographhy

Him was one miserable raas, but him was good.

Carl Dawson, (kin to Ken Dawson) helped me to fine tune what was a childish obsession with photography when I was 16 years old.

I grew up in front of a camera- my daddy's Canon SLR w/ 50mm lens. I got my first camera when I was 9 and took over my dad's camera at age 19.

In many ways, much of my art remains unwritten because I have no lens to paint them with. I am a shutterbaby. Born and bred.

But Mr. Dawson taught me the intricacies... composition, the rules, and breaking them. I shot my first slides and processed film and printed exposures in the dark room.

And here I am, 10 years later, and I have no camera of my own. I have been waiting so long to buy a good professional digital SLR that I have just been waiting and waiting for practically a decade.

So I have decided that I will not postpone any longer. I need a camera. And I need it now.

Well. maybe for my birthday.

So... I am taking up a USD of course!

D Day

Today it is.

I have been watching the clock since 9 am. I am so eager to see Easy Skanking Chef that it aint funny.

I am going to take him straight home and just look pon him.

Its nice to finally have someone who I know around me.

I havent been able to sleep over the past two days out of sheer enthusiasm.

I dont know if he is arriving on the 12:30 or the 2:30 flight.

I just want to see him. And hug him.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Post Menstrual Syndrome

Never heard of it, but if reproductive parts and their functions are to be blamed for everything from cheating, to bitchiness, to depression, to friskiness, why cant I just create something for feeling blah?!?

I have been feeling blah all day.

Kinda borderlne slight depression, loss of appetite, sleeplessnes, and the overbearing grouchiness that comes from things like hearing a freaking vacuum machine going at 9 am on a Monday morning in the middle of the office and the smell of concentrated cleaning chemicals that trigger a tightnest in my chest, and sinus pains that are ferking annoying.

So I am the grinch who stole ferking monday.

After all that housework over the weekend, did you all think I would have been rested and ready for the challenges of the monday morning patty shop?


I just blasted miserable right ya now so I going to hold me corner before I light up the whole place wid bere bad wud (I really not angry... just said it for effect- though not sure what effect).

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Maid for Hire

By weekday, I am a pr guru, by saturday, a maid. Cleaning mop and all.

Why the production about basic household duties? Because I am fabulosity defined. And fabulosity and cleaning mop just do not sit well in the same sentence.

Anyway, mission accomplished. Clean floors (more surface areas for the flies to pitch pon), and a major furniture reshuffle has made my flat look and feel bigger. Less clutter means less surface area for my thoughts to boomerang from.

Its amazing how much I love feeling like I am in a continuum and not a small space (hence open doors and flies). I used to have a desk in the UWI Mona library that I would claim every morning since I was a 17 year old illegal user, studying for A'levels. By the time I actually enrolled a year later, I had already staked my claim.

The beauty of that particular desk is that it had a view of a hill with nothing on it except power lines and a track right to the peak. I used to sit there and look out and even though I was confined in a cluttered library filled with people by the time the poui trees started to flower, my thoughts would travel on that dirt track right up to the peak, and into the sky on a never ending continuum.

I cannot write in front of a wall. I have to at least be several feet from it.

I never knew I was a writer then. I just had to be in a space, that though confining, allowed me freedom, if only by imagination.

And so here I am, years later, knowing now that there are certain places that I just cannot write.

I am not claustrophobic by true definition, but my creativity is.

I love space, even though I also love to be connected to the things and people I love.

There are so many things, passions, convictions, insights that I had, that never really made sense, but as time has past, I have learnt to appreciate- and in some cases label.

Like domesticphobia. I knew from I was a little girl that I was just not cut out for housework. I would spend hours doing homework, drawing, painting and writing my "I am a girl, my name is___" compositions, but when it came to tidying up after myself, I just felt my father's messy habits were most practical.

I epitomized his mess as the stamp of genius. And he was even more practical about cleaning it up. He would pay me to tidy his papers and straighten things.

Soo.. now you know why I feel housework is fit for certain people who are entitled to being paid for it.

So, until I actually find a maid I can pay to tidy up after me, I am going to be obsessing about it with every swish of the mop, push of the broom, run of the iron, and completed wash cycle cuing the hanging out of laundry.


Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Channelling my inner Audrey Hepburn

I HAVE to say, that I hit that nail squarely on its head yesterday.

From bottom up (because a true diva always talks about the shoes)...

black HIGH peep toe wedges
black pencil skirt
red trapeze puffed sleeve, double-breasted jacket (six HUGE red buttions) with a round collar
smoky eyes with burgundy tones
nude with jazz 60s meet 70s lips
hair a la 1960s pin curls
small black leather satchel

Got some compliments from my budding fan club. We will leave the haters out of this discussion. I looked so supremely fabulous, I dont really care! I was right on!

Now I really want to go shopping!

No Internet at Work

I am blogging at home because I cannot accessz the internet from my office and i am tired of walking up and down with a laptop in search of wireless.

I will still try to maintain the pace of blogging...even though when I come homemost evenings I do not want to see the computer. But since my cable is down for the past two weeks and I am running out of books to read, I may just blog in the evenings too.

I got back the company car so I can actually move around. Come the end of July, it will be another story. I was told that I would have to get my own then. I have enough bills to settle before I even go thereso.

So if you see a hot girl wid locks with her thub up on the side of the road, it may be me, so pullover honey!

Of New Discoveries

OK...I have to say that I have had a fresh wave of inspiration.

You know when you looking at the same thing for like 10 years and then, something small changes, and what is hidden has come to light (and my God oh what a sight)?!

Turns out Easy Skanking Chef is an undercover hottie! I mean, LEGITIMATE hottie! I mean I always knew he was "attractive" (that's a joke between us) but when I saw the mustache off, I was in immediate need of heart medication (and I do not have heart problems).

Mnn Mmmn Mnnn!

I still cant get over it!

But it kinda scares me now cuz mi nuh like hot bwoy. So, as long as he and I are in the same place, clean shaven it is... but if he goes back to stay in Ja... BEARDED it is!!!!!!!!!!!

Mi not into the drama mi dear chile...what wid all the ooman dem dat would be flinging baggie at him left right and centre. Tschuups. And mi nuh waan jook out a gyal yeye! Lol!

But big and serious, I am happy that he is a cool, calm understated bredda, who dont frighten fi baggie. But I do feel a little daunted at the level of interest that he would have to fan off.

Yes I have always had good looking boyfriends, and I have always remained confident and self-assured even in the midst of threat, so maybe I am just exaggerating.

Truth is, me no want no man that no other woman wants. Mi not running no alms house!

And by the way... all that talk about being a homebody? All that is right about to come to an abrupt end!

What me a go out and pose!

Now where did I put that pilates workout?

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Feeding a Multitude of Worms

I been cooking like seh food a go out of style.

I am cooking for the third time in less than 18 hrs. I even made escoveitch fish for my Guyanese neighbours. I mean a plate full wid foil and tine and nion and scotch bonnet and pimento. Made seafood pelau last night and i have a snapper stuffed with okra roasting in the oven. I am out of novels to read and have starting on my professional books. And about to mop floor and clean house, wash two weeks of laundry (in one load) and do the ironinng for the week. Do I sound like a maid?

No, I am the modern single professional who hasnt gotten around to hiring the right help just yet.

My MacBook is bahaving funny. Hasnt worked in over a week. Have to take it to an Aplle store in Miami. Good thing I have warranty until Sept. Damn thing not a year old. I think its the memory upgrade that caused it though.

Word to all: Buy your Mac from apple direct and upgrade on purchase.

So thats why you havent been hearing from me ( and the fact that housewives have very little time for frivolties as blogging).

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Horse Dead, Cow Fat, and Pig Soon Fly Way

Chile, after discussions with Big Pappa (friend from the shipping dock), I have decided to throw a party this weekend. In fact, I think I will throw a party every weekend from now until late August.

I have the music, and the vibes, all dem need fi bring is dem owna liquor. Whappen, how me suppose fi afford it?

Since I have been routinely suffering from depressin on fridays, this is a way to kick off the weekend with a blast.

Since this place too small for me to get on bad in a club, and I miss dancing, I going to turn mi living room into a dance floor!

Sounds like a damn good plan to me.

I will even invite me Guyanese neighbours.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

The Lord is My Shepherd, I have ALL that I Need

The subject of this email is the New Living Translation of the 23rd Psalm. I bought that bible for that very reason.

You seen, all my life, I have known"the Lord is my shepherd I shall NOT want" but as a former English Major, I was stopped in my tracks when I discovered the positive affirmation of the NLT version.

Language is peculiar but intriguing, a slight slant can connote different meanings altogether.

Last night, after being in and out of depression (more in than out) for two weeks straight, I put on some Beenie, then I went for Buju, focusing on the 23rd Psalm rendition with Morgan's Heritage. What a peace!

I showered to the sound of that beautiful psalm with the speakers up loud and as I washed dirt, sweat and crosses away, the song ushered in a peace. The reassurance that "even though i walk through death's dark vale, yet will I fear no ill" soaked deep.

I chatted with Imelda, turned out all the lights, lit some tea candles and put in some bedouin music gifted by Chef in Dubai.

Then I rolled out my yoga mat for the first time since I left Jamaica (May 21 at 12:35pm) and I went into corpse pose and meditated until I fell asleep.

I been listening to rasta reggae music from morning.

Yow, rasta regga sweet no hell!

Giving thanks for having all I need.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

I need a hug

Yeah I am needy!

If you were here alone, you would see why.

Wanting a real hug.

Didnt realise that I loved hugs so much and how many I got on a regular basis.

I need a damn blasted hug!
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