The life is back in Sheer Almshouse

I was right. I am happy. Incredibly so. I slept VERY well last night.

Everyone is telling me that I sound MUCH better. Even Daddykin said "You sound MUCH brighter!" Easy Skanking Chef said "You are laughing all the time, and you even sound giddy." Sounds like I am in love right? I am.

I knew that my depression was purely environmental and just leaving all that behind would have been better for me. The overwhelming cloud of heaviness has lifted so much so that I have already re-disovered my joy for life.

Home is my anti-depressant. And love and laughter, the best medicine.

I am eating well again, after a crazy week of not paying close attention to my fitness goals. I am back on track with renewed fervor.

It's funny because I was alone last night, I had no company, but still, I am in great spirits.

It's not that I could not have seen people, but I was too tired to be up and down or to have late visitors. I am still tired, and figure it will be so for the rest of the weekend, but I am content in my fatigue. I will eat well and get in lots of sleep to recover from two weeks of sleeplessness and two months of despair.

I got a few good hugs already and it's just lovely to feel sexy again.

As tired as I was, I made sure to head straight to the hairdresser after unpacking and having a healthy lunch of whole wheat madras chicken roti and fresh coconut water straight from the husk. As much as I am 25lbs heavier than when I left last year, I can't walk around Jamaica in the same drudgery. My hair has to look good. And my 25lbs are feeling good because I have got my oomph back.

I got some Herbalife green tea from K.Azikiwe yesterday and he is supposed to give me some organic vitamins soon. He also gave me my very first Otahite apple ( a wonderful variety found in Jamaica) and a very sweet home grown banana.

I am about to dig in to my very first Julie mango in a year (my favourite mango). Thankfully, my cousin left just one in the fridge for me. She knows me well enough to leave more because I really cant help myself with them, and will eat several in one go. At least now I can pace myself.

I saw it in the fridge last night decided to leave it for breakfast, so that I can enjoy it fully.

Got to go. I have a date with a big, sexy, juicy mango who is giving me eyes from across the room!

The Exiled Heart

I dream of home
amidst the drama
of bullets raining
like blessings
saving the dispossessed
from hunger

I dream of love
shining through
the clouds
that form
anticipating the storms of life

I dream of smiles sincere
of food cooked with love, by love
hearts gathered in laughter
acceptance, the denominator

I dream of rivers
that flow from the sky
washing away crosses
and burdens
cleansing
invigorating
bringing new life to weary spirits

I dream of slumber
made sweet by content
of peace of mind
and a chest free
from depression's tightness

I dream of freedom
re-vitalisation
re-invention
re-launch

I dream of home.

What am I Longing For?

My space.

I am sooooo looking forward into moving into my new place. No more studio living, mi re-instated to one bedroom mi dear!

I am thrilled! Big kitchen, big bathroom, big enough bedroom and a lukkle tuups a living room that will have to share as workspace but you know what? I dont care! At least I wont have to lock myself in a bedroom in a three bedroom townhouse because I feel uncomfortable.

And u just wait till I buss way pon the decorating because you know that a fi me sinting!

I just got an urgent project which is going to throw off my moving schedule (which was suppsed to begin today). It is not likely that major movement will start before Friday as I have to ensure that my company meets this deadline.

In addition to all that, I have my first live show that I am producing this week. So the news just in: I am back in broadcast big time! Dont ask me how I going to do everything. All I know is I must. These are indeed exciting times!

A gone go do the people dem work...




...

Black is the colour of my true love's hair

...
After a weekend of R&R (sans the romance), I have come home with a burgeoning ache for just that.

Not hot passionate sex, but lovemaking of the kind that you can only share with a true love.

I vividly remember the emotion, the tremendous sense of satiety, peace, fear, passion, and intense desire all wrapped up into one continuous emotion. I could dream then... about a future... about the plural concepts of us and we together. About a small and intimate country wedding, children running wild, dogs, huge vegetable gardens and growing old together on rocking chairs on a lovely countryside verandah. I saw the vision clearly- the fights, the misgivings, the rifts and the bridges that would always help us find our way back to each other- our love and our children.

These moments scare me.

But they shouldn't -at least I know my childish enthusiasm is still alive and I am still open to dreaming my most intimate dreams. Love is the dream of the young and foolish and the old and lonely- the most siginificant contribution to a meaningful existence.

Yet my love is out there... hanging bright like a star in the night...just waiting to lead me home.

I'm ready when you are.


...