Monday, December 12, 2011

Silence threatens

ESC has me making hospital trips again.  This time, we are in search of a final diagnosis to explain some symptoms he's been having. It could be so simple, that home remedies can cure, or so damming that not even modern medicine can. A thousand possibilities, thoughts and anxieties lie between the poles of knowing and not knowing.

While I have been telling myself and others out loud that the doctors are just being overly and unnecessarily cautious, inside I am crumpling with fear.  Behind his bravado, he is too.  The worst is just to damning for us to sleep peacefully.

He is having a really hard time, and I cannot him to unload it. His manhood requires that he valiantly defends himself against possible signs of weakness. My womanhood wants a deep long talk about how all this really makes us feel.

I am fearful that my role is so small and inconsequential in all this. I do not weave the power of God.  But, I do have the power of faith.

Faith- Belief in something hoped for, evidence of which not seen. Where as others tend to just relax and give into"fate", I will continue to believe.  "Faith" is my "fate."

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord [ alive and well].


Julie said...

Hope he feels better soon!
You're both in my prayers.
((((( hugs )))))

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