Long distance relationship=purgatory

"Long distance relationship" (LDR) is the politically correct term for purgatory.

This is my definition. My chat. I'm not taking it back

Here's why:

1. You have the man (or woman)...but not really

2. As lovely as long calls are, they usually come with a longer bill. So, they best serve the phone company.

3. They also serve the airlines- whether by frequent flights if the distance is not so long, or by hefty ticket prices if you happen to live four planes away. I do.

4. Telephone calls and short visits cannot make up for actually being together. If not in the same space, at least in the same place.

5. Skype doesn't work in every country (nor other VOIP companies). Like the United Arab Emirates. Revisit #2

6. Believe it or not, you can get used to the distance. Which can make coming together long-term anything but a happy ending

7. Due to #6, you essentially lead separate lives, and join only on limited terms. Essentially, it can be a relationship between two very single people.

8. There is always the possibility, no matter how small, than on one too many cold, lonely nights, after one too many advances of some predator who has no respect for the fact that LDRs are really relationships, things can well...happen.

9. They are not for the faint-hearted, weak minded, jealous types. Neither are they for those without self-restraint.

10. The conversation can be a little repetitive. Outside of being your personal journal, recounting all the happenings in your separate single lives, just how many ways can you say "I miss you?"

11. There is no sex. And cyber sex can never replace the real thing.

12. The lack of casual physical connection and acts of endearment makes people "channel hugs." How do you really send a hug over the phone, chat applet or email?

13. Every visit, though blissful, will come to a very depressive end.


So why do I do it?

Because, purgatory is halfway between heaven and hell. So close to hell that you know the risks, but so damn close to heaven that you continue to pray to the saints to beam you up.

If, and only if the relationship is grounded and centred on seriously common ground and there is a definitive end to the separation in sight, it can work. But only with lots of dirty, hard, grimy work.

Relationships are worse than algebra anyway you take it. If however, you feel like this could be or is "it" then, it is by all means worth the wait.

Furthermore, you get to be single in a relationship! Just be sure to really define what that "single" means for BOTH of you :)