Roller Coaster

It's official. I am depressed. And this of "the mean reds" kind- too blue for the blues.

Usually this has to do with a man breaking my heart (one asshole in particular-the elusive ex).

This time, it is just me. And that is the problem. The sheer isolation, abject lonliness, and not even a challenging job and drinking partners to balance the emotional tide.

I am having meltdowns in between hazes of peace and traquility. When I'm up, I'm down, and when I'm down, I am in the molten lava in the earth's core. And when I am halfway up, I might as be halfway down.

Fuck intestinal fortitude.

I want to go home.