The past that haunts

I dreamed about him again. The one who shattered my heart into a million pieces- damage that has taken days, weeks, months, years of surgery, psycho and physio therapy to regain a semblance of normalcy. But like a survivor or trauma, I have flashbacks that deeply unnerve me. They happen in my dreams.

It's easy to be collected when conscious, but it is in the realm of the unconscious that I seem to unravel.

It was a pure love. A true love. One that desired nothing but validation. But how can one be validated by another who cannot validate himself?

His words seem to haunt me like a curse: "No matter where you are, whether you are married, I will find you." The selfish bastard who could not see beyond himself. I have let him go in tangible ways. I made him take me to the airport when I first migrated from Jamaica. I knew it was our final goodbye. He was the major reason why I wanted so badly to leave my country and settled for the Island Behind God's Back. We do not speak. I have nothing to say. I have asked him not to make any contact. But still... he haunts like a curse.

I am over him. I certainly don't want him back. I just haven't been able to forget. I am not certain that is such a bad thing. It's just fucking annoying.