Decorator At Large

OK.. so its official. I have completed the re-design of my studio apartment.

Its just so nice to be in a space that has been purposefully arranged.

I still have a few features to work on but the major work is done and the best part is I have lots to show for it.

I think maybe its the wall colours but yesterday I had a unicef convention held in here. The black, indian, and chinese children all came by me. I am thinking now of getting kids dvds and buying an icecream maker so that we can do fun stuff from time to time.

Maybe I am really getting old. Well, its still better than being the crazy cat lady.

On Becoming A Woman

Adulthood is overrated.

According to my dear cousin, "in all my years of growing up, and looking forward to be grown, i never anticipated that adulthood would be such a letdown. Its not that I did not expect hard times, but bwoy this is so anticlimatic."

I agreed and replied " I think I need to see a shrink."

"Shrinks have shrinks."

I guess we are stuck.

This Too Shall Past

I have been feeling quite strange recently. Its just like the rains have come and poured a serious funk.

I'm having bad days back to back.

Blaah

Torn Jeans & Dirty Sneakers

I was feeling surprisingly peaceful this morning- until I got bombarded with damage control and crisis management issues.Its amazing how this just sucks energy from you... especially on days when staying in bed just seemed like the best option anyway.

I miss working in TV. I miss wearing torn jeans and old sneakers to work when I pleased.At least then the "on air" time was limited and one could go back into a funk as soon as the cameras went off.

My heart is not here. In fact, I really dont know where it is... it seems to have gotten lost in translation.

Dancing With Depression

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference."

Reinhold Niebuhr

Babbling Fool

I was goign to write something truly profound. Then I realised that I have absolutely nothing meaningful to say.

I must be the world's stupidest person. Who else needs three alarms to wake up and still happens to be late?

Mornings are truly overrated.

Chronological Disorder

I just got an email from a former coworker greatly discouraging the tendency to delay childbirth for too long.

"Senior citizens forget everything."

Well, I might as well be called that because I have as much memory as a diskette. That's why I have a palm.

I just need to remember to put everything in it and to walk with it. Oh, and to check it all the time.

As far as I see it, children are mucho fabuloso, but without being born to two loving married parents, it can be even hotter hell.

Its bad enough that you have to breast feed every two hours and change poo poo as often, but can you imagine if you had to go it all alone? Its too much of a darling experience for one person.

So, the donation of DNA soes not a child make. Lets not count the eggs before we even get chickens!

If I end up shrivelled and childless, worse things have happened to mankind.

Spirited

There's something to be said about being in a state of thanksgiving.

Its certainly reassuring to believe in divine order and that all things work together for good. How could could we handle the fact that we are simply a pack of bind rats scampering to get to a multi-directional finish line?

The Battle Continues- But I'm Out

I have been receiving interesting comments on the entry titled "Battle of the Sexes."

Let me first apologise to the wonderful men who I have come across, who were not at all depicted in my diatribe. But really, you are the exception- just ask all the females you know. Nevertheless, we celebrate that there are exceptions. Intellectual viability is possible people!

One male friend was amazed that my blog echoed a conversation he had recently with a male friend esp.. the paragraph about "for every woman there is 1/6 of a Jamaican man." Apparently the friend is a returning resident and was quite appalled that there was such a huge gap between the sexes.

Anway, there are so many other things that are going on right now that the whole idea of spending all these brainwaves trying to analyze the socio-economic dating situation in Jamaica just seems quite frankly- pointless!

Finding the Artist Within

Sometimes I feel stifled by the straight jacket I feel I have put myself in. Creativity must always be nurtured and expressed, not restricted. How many artists wander up the corporate ladder only to wake up decades later to find themselves at the top of their game, but at odds with who they truly are?

The painters have been putting me off to paint my place for a week now, and I am getting increasingly frustrated. Didn't they get the memo? I DECORATING! So what if it took me all of two years to be frustrated into making my space more personal? I guess the nonsense preamble above was really about trying to find an excuse to dabble in some paint.

I never intended to have any artistic faux finishes, but with my own inability to be entirely clinical, I am sure the result will at least be "interesting."

It will be a continuous process. I am now working on the accessories. Am toying with the idea of displaying my own photographs and charcoal drawings. That would take additional work (printing of photos) and framing of both. But hey... I'll get to really have an exhibition...well.. of sorts.

Uncommon Sense

There are some days when things just fall into cosmic order and then they are others.

Like knowing you are going to lock yourself out of your apartment at midnight in your pyjamas, discarding the premonition, only realise once you accidentally close the door, that you have just screwed up. The worst part is you knew it, but overestimated your own common sense...

So, having been forced to sleep in another bed, I wasted half the night counting sheep. First it was backways from 100, then polka dotted sheep, then zebra striped sheep, then a few times from 1-100. I had to get creative because simple clearly wasn't cutting it.

Anyway, the one good thing about summer when u are no longer in school is that the traffic gets reduced to nothingness. Now, I really get to benefit from living 3 mins from work when no one is on the road. The best part is that it will continue everyday like this for the next 1 1/2 months!

Battle of the Sexes

Photo: How Not to Make an Impression

I swear, it's either that men are simpletons or women are just too deep.

Even the way we love seems different.

A guy can be deeply, madly in love with one woman and jump right into another relationship the minute the first one ends.
The same woman, may take months to even look at another guy and years to get back into a relationship.

Anyway, we might as well just not bother because let me warn you: its a dreadful world out there when it comes to dating.

I have come across those with prepaid phones and no credit; those with perpetual "h" problems; those who spit back bones at dinner; those who think that saying they want to marry you on the second date is ok; those that think "i want to breed you" is a compliment... and it actually gets worse.

My papa may have raised livestock but I dont consider myself apart of the collective.

If young men today can simply be taught: How to Portray Yourself When Looking for Companionship, this world would be a better place. I guess that's why the guys who consider themselves eligible are busy making themselves available to as many women as possible -simultaneously.

It's a man's world where dating in Jamaica is concerned. For every smart, empowered woman, there is literally, 1/6 of a man. After all, less of them have bothered to be educated yet, alone to find an honest living. If one were to open up to consider the illiterate and those involved in illegal activity, one's options would immediately widen.

Whose fault was it that we got into this book learning and had to prove that we were brighter than the boys?

But I really have to admire the confidence of the ordinary Jamaican man. What a thing when a man on a bicycle has no qualms about riding up to well-manicured woman in a benz and "put lyrics to har." And speaking of which, the sweetest lyrics I ever received came from a young man selling roses on the Matilda's corner. He said " I may not be rich in wealth but I am rich in love and passion.."

What more could a woman really want?!?

That Blasted Rainy Day

Photo: Lovers in Boston, Portland

What's up with all the rain?

I guess the 2006 Atlantic Hurrican season had to start with a bang. Interpretation: stationary surface trough that has resulted in rainy, cold, gloomy and grey days.

I have long established that living in the UK is not an option for me... and "winter" is a farfetched concept for the person who has deliberately avoided that time for travel. I am after all a warm-blooded woman from the tropics.

I normally love the rainy seasons of May, June and October. However, this June is posing one helluva problem for me.

Is like seh, all of a sudden the I wake up and realise seh "is a cold rahtid bed the I a sleep inna" and it dont seem like anybody fit the post of Regular All Night Bed Warmer.

The ideal candidate:
-Must be able to maintain intelligent (and other) conversation
-Must be able to appreciate all kinds of movies
-Must not snore
-Must be willing to stay up late regularly
-Must be open to cuddling when desired
-Must be willing to take intiative to plan events leading to slumber
-Must be spontaneous
-Must be "spirit-tekkable"

Of course, the only person who fits that discription is me. Enough said.