What I know for sure...

(A la Oprah)

1. Marriage is hard and very serious business. Living so intimately with someone else is a hard pill to swallow, love doesn't make it easier to go down, it just makes you take it and keep on taking it even though you despise popping pills. As Easy Sknaking Chef says, "it's our life journey together."

2. I am blessed. We are blessed. In so many little and very big ways. A package weighing nearly 1kg of saltfish, a very pretty new dress, three bags of Jamaican pimento (Allspice- so called because it has the flavours of four spices in one), my ivory neckalce, a latch hook and my shutterbug magazine arrived last night along with a bottle of Appleton Reserve, a jar of Jamaican Jerk Seasoning, and a few Jamaican scotch bonnet peppers (the hottest and most flavourful. The package was from my Ma and the other gifts were from the couple who brought them to us. Now I have a pretty new year's dress and saltfish to last for months! Luggage space is very precious on transatlantic flights home because space is limited, hefty overweight charges are applied and everyone wants to bring back their granny in their suitcase.

3. Things have been difficult for us, but always and without fail, we never get more than we can bear and God works right on time.

And a bit more general...

4. The friends you have are the friends you keep. New lasting friendships are hard to come by, especially in the transient world of expat life. People re-invent themselves and not always in a holistic way. Pretenses are many. Always trust your spirit when letting people into your life. Finally, when a person shows you who he/she really is, BELIEVE.

5. Embrace the newness and the dynamism of life's changes but hold on to what makes you, you. Change and growth are essential for a happy and peaceful life, but at least hold on to your DNA.

6. When you are hurt and angry, express your emotions and let them go. Bottling them in causes cancer. The same goes for rumination.

7. Music heals, inspires, stimulates, incites, relaxes and rejuvenates. Pick your choice. Choose your pick. You can use it as therapy, enhancement or weapon. Use wisely. Explore other types of music.

8. If the grass is greener on the other side of the lake, chances are they have a water bill bigger than your rent/mortgage. Everything in life comes at an expense. Do not allow others to influence what choices you make for you. The truth about keeping up with the Joneses that you can't. You can just decide to be happy and make do with what you have. This is where creativity comes in, and God-given talents are put to full use. Furthermore, you see all that love, warmth and passion in your home? The Jones would kill to get them. Heaters, expensive lighting and feng shui colour palettes cannot a home make.

9. Hang the devil but give him his due. Give credit where credit is due. It is never good to be the person who only highlights the negative in other persons. Everyone has good qualities. Don't be a Rascal Pascal who only sees the smudge on an otherwise beautiful lipstick that complements the wearer. Give praises as easily as with even more frequency than you do criticisms. Apply this rule to children too. Let them hear you vocalize their triumphs than only hear you go and on about their affinity for failure.

10. Be grateful. It could be 100 times worse and trust me, there are many who have it that way. Yes, it's fine to be upset about it, but never forget just how good you have it even when it seems to be bad. That doesn't mean living in an unhealthy situation, it means celebrating the fact that you have choices at your fingertips to actualize healthier existence. Sad though you may be about particular circumstances, woe is not me.

11. Life is beautiful. Life is good. Celebrate it. Enjoy it. Learn something from it everyday.