Confession of a "less care" woman

I had to do something before something do me.

Hotlanta Cousin convinced me earlier in the week that bathing was a good idea. I was literally immobilized when the melodrama of the last weekend sank in. I listened... and cried because I realised in that moment that I was more depressed than I thought. I lit the thick white candles, and hooked up the 23rd psalm by Morgan Heritage & Buju Banton and I pulled out my kosher homemade lemon grass soap from Imelda and I did about 7 cycles of soaping up and rinsing off.

Today, I applied the same care to my eyebrows, giving them the best tweezing since December. I will tackle leg hairs tomorrow.

According to Imelda, I been "less care" misself. The irony is that she has hell to get me out of the house on time in Jamaica when we are going anywhere as I am always titivating in the bathroom.

But this place brings out a little different in me. It's kinda scary on some level. But can you imagine just how much more these women would hate me if I religiously tweezed my brows or shaved my legs?

I shoveled out the sand out of my house, sorted laundry and I actually played music. For the first time all week, I played music. Threw out the trash. And I am about to change my sheets. I still have not gone further than my gate all week. I am sure if I mentioned before that I was on compassionate leave. I still cry too easily.

I am still one tough bitch... but when you are fighting such a bitch of an opponent, you are bound to get a few solid licks and to get the wind knocked out of you from time to time. This wont kill me. For sure.

I need some love. No lie. This is just damn sad. Really sad. And I am not writing this to appeal for sympathy, but just to let you know that I have my moments. This is my therapy. Its easier for me to write than to talk sometimes. I really miss Easy Skanking Chef. Especially a night. I miss my mother. I miss everybody. Just to have an ounce of love in this dessert would mean so much. Nights are still hard.

Ok...Buena Vista Social Club is playing now and I am going to force myself to dance while I make my bed.