A spank on the butt and a pat on the back

I have been self sabotaging myself. No I am not being mean to myself, I am being real.

So what is "self-sabotaging?"

It is the deliberate attempt to undermine one's own success, knowingly or unknowingly.

Last night I had a burger after having a very clean day, eating a wide array of nutrient filled foods. However, I missed a meal and therein started the problem.

I missed lunch. So after having dinner at a friend's (and even making my own cauliflower rice instead of eating the white rice that was supplied with meal), I had to pick up ESC at 1:00am. I didn't realize I was hungry while I was at home, but got very hungry while we were driving back. The hunger descended fast and furiously and I just had to eat. He suggested that I have burger king without the buns. That made me want the buns even more. I had a huge burger along with diet soda. I did not order the fries.

Essentially, I am eating a lot of salads and staying away from grains for now, so technically, I could have bought one of the salads that they offered. But the issue is that when I get very ravenous, my mind already has a picture of what it takes to fill me up. Clearly, that picture needs to be replaced. When I am not famished, I make better food choices and can say no to things that I know will not do my body any good.

Now that I have written it down and made a confession, I pat myself on the back for having the courage to break away from bad habits.

I remember a time 10 years ago when I didn't eat fast food and I worked out 3-4 days weekly in the gym. I had lost my taste for fast food and ate pretty well. Then my ex took me to McDonald's for breakfast when I visited him in NY (so lame - I should have walked away then) and the past 10 years have since been a roller coaster. I am not blaming anybody else but me... I am just recounting my history.

Since then, fast junk food and fries have come to be comfort foods intead of the healthy alternatives I had before. This can no longer be the case.

I refuse to be my own enemy. I will be my best friend. I will replace bad habits with good and remove unhealthy crutches from my life for good.

I would also like to note that I worked out 4x this week my first week back in the saddle and I will work up to 5x weekly by next week.


Affirmations:

• When I am famished, I will now seek a salad first.

• I will only use fast food joints when absolutely necessary and I will only order salads and grilled foods.

• I will get better at taking my health and fitness in my hands and building the intestinal fortitude to select healthy choices even when I feel stressed (like holding out until I reach home).

• I am replacing my comfort food image with that of a salad. I feel better after eating a salad. My conscience is free after eating a salad. I will walk around with a sachet of a healthy vinaigrette that I like at all times so that I can enjoy even a fast food salad without their unhealthy dressings.

• I will make lunch before I leave the house even if expect to be home before lunchtime.

• I will keep my house stacked with half prepped whole foods (like cooked seafood and meat to toss into a salad).

• I will eat on time, every time, no matter what.

• I will approach eating with the same discipline I would if my doctor had given me strict warnings of an impending life-threatening ailment.

• I deserve better.

• I come first.

• I will I will get better at this and I will reach my goals.